College Day and Fun

I took my college day on Thursday! It was so fun! I got my schedule, and I don't have any classes before 9:30 and after 3:50 any day of the week. That's tons of free time to study and hang out and have a real life! Yay!

Monday: 9:30-10:50 – Economics, 11:00-11:50 – English, 12:00-12:50 – Integrated Science
Tuesday: 9:30-10:50 – Business Calculus, 12:30-1:50 – History
Wednesday: 9:30-10:50 – Economics, 11:00-11:50 – English, 12:00-12:50 – Integrated Science
Thursday: 9:30-10:50 – Business Calculus, 12:30-1:50 – History, 2:00-3:50 – Geology Lab
Friday: 11:00-11:50 – English, 12:00-12:50 – Integrated Science

The English is Western Lit; Integrated Science is a mixture of Chemistry, Physics, and Geology; and Business Calculus is mostly the stuff we've already studied in Calculus this year. I'm so excited!

I was never more thankful for a Wal-Mart card than Thursday. I had a half of a tank left and was really worried that I wouldn't have enough $$ to get home after driving back from H-ville. So I had just happened to pick up my card with $25 on it before I left home, and lo and behold, the Wal-Mart there had a pump! And I paid $1.879 per gallon! It was regular $1.909, a steal in itself. I was suddenly extremely glad that I would be attending school there. And Taco Bell is always awesome for lunch. Under $5! My kind of meal! I've always maintained that I would be a really cheap date since I love places like McDonalds and Burger King and enjoy hanging out and doing simple yet fun things. Cards, dominoes, swinging, singing, laughing, talking, people-watching…

Yep, I’m all about having a good time, whether it costs 50 cents or 50 dollars. But can low-maintenance girls really know that they're low maintenance? Or do only high-maintenance girls think they're low maintenance? Any answer to that particular question? Or does anybody know?

But back to my point. I had a blast on my college day, and the next day at Mountasia was awesome, too! We rode the go-karts and bumper boats, played putt-putt, and played UNLIMITED ARCADE GAMES!!! Racing cars, shooting aliens and zombies, air hockey, DDR, Star Wars racing, snowboarding, and the list goes on and on. It was very much worth missing a day of school for that! And now we only have 4 days left! Actually only 3 and ½ days since Thursday is less than half a day. Monday is a full day, Tuesday and Wednesday we get out at 1:15, and Thursday we get out at 10:00. We have practice at that time for graduation, then the actual ceremony at 8:00 on Friday. It's almost over!

Details

Okay, scholarship summary/rundown. The Lions Club awarded me $1000. The school awarded me the Golden Eagle Scholarship, which was $200. The Rotary Club awarded me $500. I was awarded the Temple-Inland Scholarship of $1000. I was awarded the Cy Alexander Memorial Scholarship for $500. And the final and most impressive scholarship was the Charles Wesley "Chuck" Fortenberry Memorial Scholarship for $740. It wasn't the amount, but rather the justification in the awarding of this scholarship. Chuck was an Army Path Finder, Ranger, Air Borne Infantryman and Lite Fighter before he was accepted into Officer's Training and Flight School. As a Warrant Officer he had been flying the AH-64 Apache helicopter for 10 years. Chuck died in combat, defending an ammunition convoy and the lives of 29 men on the ground. Chuck’s strong desire to excel, provide leadership, love for his country and courage greater than most of us have ever had, makes him our hero for this memorial scholarship. The committee decided that I exhibited the characteristics of Excellence, Leadership, Citizenship, and Courage. This made us all cry. I don't seriously think I deserve such an award, but I humbly accept it. That makes my total $3940. With tuition paid and additional scholarships from the University, I shouldn't have to pay anything the entire first year. Prayerfully, I'll receive the $44,000 scholarship from the University.

Money money money money...

Total: $3940 I think. For tonight. More from the college. We calculated it, but I don't remember the exact numbers. I'll give specifics later. I'm tired, so g'night all!

Just for Jim

Ok, here it is Jim, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Actually, it was yesterday, but that doesn't really matter, does it? Schlitterbahn was fun! I got a sunburn on my legs and arms and face, but it's not incredibly bad. There was a fight across the street over the weekend, but I wasn't here to see it. Oh well. Honors Ceremony tonight. I'll find out about scholarships and stuff, so I'll update with all that info tonight or tomorrow. Well, that concludes today's official Spatula post. Hop everybody had a good 'un! Love to all! *hugs*

King Arthur and the Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night? Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments? What would YOU do? What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now....what is the moral to this story?
The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!

I got this in an email and thought it was pretty funny, but could be a rather controversial topic. Should women be allowed to "have their way" not matter what? Or are there limitations? What if a woman doesn't want to be in charge? I don't really want to spend my whole life making every decision for my family. But I do want to have a say in things. Thoughts? This is up for discussion, if rather limited to my small audience.

Results

Bubba's o-tay. He got 5 stitches in his eyebrow and an x-ray for his nose. Heh. It's not broken. He's probably really sore today, but I didn't see him this morning. He's going to have a nice black eye, too. Brandy, his gf, didn't know until she called the house. I told her what happened and she was a little concerned, but was ok with it. If you can be okay with things like that... He could've died. I don't like to think about it because it scares me. I really don't know if I could handle that. But God knows that. I guess He has some big plans for both of us. He's spared our lives many a time. The wreck in 2002, flat tires, the big truck seriously messing up, and lots of wake boarding wipe-outs... And that's just Derek. Well, we'll have to wait and see what's in store! Toodles!

Bubba's Wreck

Ok, new post, just happened, hot off the presses! Derek comes in with a shirt up against his face a few minutes ago. He orders me to silence with a look and shows me what he’s hiding. Dad was with him and has already seen it. He has a huge gash in his head, right above his eyebrow! 4-wheeler flipped going around a curve as he was trying to catch up with Dad. We have two, btw. Or we HAD two. The old one, the one that flipped, has no brakes anyway, and now has a seriously torqued front end. Dad might be able to fix it, or we may just drive it like it is… I don’t know. But he was a little bloody, to say the least. Mom and Dad took him to the hospital. They’re en route right now, and I just HAD to get this in! They’re not going to get stitches, but just glue him up. He’ll be fine. His nose was a little bloody, too, but it stopped. I think he just hit the ground a little too hard. I got a gash similar to that last year playing football. And just the other day he mentioned that he used to want a “dashing scar” on his face… Little ironies? Well, God definitely has a sense of humor! I’ll give a full report of the extent of his injuries tomorrow. Love y’all!

Jewels

It’s so amazing to go through old journals and find little jewels. My eighth grade English teacher left this comment when asked if she had a boyfriend.

“The good Lord has not seen fit to send me a “man.” Why must I be pitied? If I have a full life – a life of quality, helping others, then why pity? Pity those who do nothing, who simply exist.

I am lucky. I know my purpose in life. There are a lot of people who are older than I am and still haven’t figured out what to do with their lives.”

Mom set up two chairs in the hallway to keep the puppies off of the carpet. All of my 5’4” had to resort to an almost hurdle-like jump to get over the chairs. It was pretty funny, actually. Talk about an inconvenience. But still…

This guy I met at the mall called me. And then called again. And then again. And he’s going to email me pretty soon. I’m a little apprehensive about even beginning a friendship with him. His past is a little overwhelming. Nothing I’ve never heard, but at this point I’m not sure if it’s something I can deal with right now.

Well, I guess I'll be going. Love y'all!

Funny Stuff

This had me rollin! I found it a long time ago and thought I'd share it...

101 Things to do in Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!" [only if you're female, naturally]

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. [any gender]

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. [buy the oj please!]

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this [stuff], anyway?"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. [works best if you are male]

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-
Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." [actually done this one, very funny]

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

43. Two words: "Marco Polo."

44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man
walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.

48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. [this works well in the self-check section]

51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditzy way. "Hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "Hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."

59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. [since when does wal-mart have mannequins?]

61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.

71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag.

72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming"

73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes.

74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices.

75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane.

76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle).

77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"

78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight.

79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.

80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.

81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section.

82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.

83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.

84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (don't try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.

85. If people aren't looking at their cart, steal it.

86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smiley face!"

87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.

88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught.

89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.

90. Repeatedly say "The clowns are not eating me."

91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.

92. Rearrange items as you see fit.

93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.

94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs

95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex).

96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recommended).

97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.

98. Follow someone until they notice.

99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7-UP commercial. [somebody please explain this one]

100. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.

101. Record [people making monkey/gorilla/farm animal noises] then have it play over and over gain in the middle of a clothes rack.


Ok, most of these are not recommended for your home store, so just do this when out of town. Heath, they may not get the jokes in Korea, especially the MI song. But all of these are mostly a lot of fun. I only condone the harmless stuff and the things that don't actually cost the store $$.

Attention Wal-Mart shoppers...

Ok, I had to steal that from another blog I glanced at. I thought it was pretty funny. So, I'm sitting in Calculus. We just received an announcement that after one more lesson we're officially finished with math! Sweet! And we're basically just killing time in English, too. Don’t is still brimming with hideously boring monologues and movies of absolutely no relevance. Band is still busy, but not after next weekend and the Schlitterbahn trip. Foods will be a breeze, and one final chapter in Physics. So I'm almost done! Slowly... creeping... toward... the ... finish... line... then... only... a... speech... left... and... then... WE'RE FINISHED!!!

Mom's the Word

Happy Mother's Day! To all of the mothers, thank you for being such awesome contributions to your family and household. To all of you non-moms, be sure you call yours and let her know how much you appreciate her. For those of you who can, give her a BIG HUG! Hope y'all have a great day! Love y'all!

Man, I feel Like a Woman

I feel very feminine and attractive right now. Or, as my mother calls it, "chi-chi". I'm wearing my Homecoming dress (black with sequin/bead and fabric flowers) and my "diamond" jewelry, and I love it! Getting dressed up is wonderful! But it's a whole lot better when you have someplace to go... The Mother/Daughter banquet is tonight at church, and one of our ladies wanted to wear her dress from her cruise, so Mom asked me to really dress up so she wouldn't feel like she over-did it (or at least wasn't the only one). So, here I am! Clean, dressed up, hair done, shoes on (:P), and waiting for the meeting to get here! Fun fun! Ok, new requisite for Prince Charming. At least one "fancy" dinner or function every six months, just so I can wear stuff like this! Hehe. Toodles! Love y'all! Oh, btw, a special thanks to all my faithful readers (Heath, Porkchop, Lil Sis, Chad, Zack, Jim). Really makes my day to get comments! But we're all pretty easily amused in the stix...

Slowing Down

Well, is it just me, or is blogging seriously becoming a rather inactive thing? Nobody posts very often anymore... Ok, life update, in case anyone cares. Is it weird to have a crush on a guy, but not really have a crush? I mean, he's sweet and cute, but I know I would never, ever go out with him. In fact, there are a couple of people like that. I think I'm doomed to be a spinster. Ok, I know, seriously an exaggeration. But on to other things.

We did a "stream of consciousness" paper the other day in English (just write the first thing that pops into your head and follow each train of thought on paper, very cool, simply writing thoughts, however random). Mine was about guys. Go figure. That's why I maintain that I am a very shallow person. I think about things other than the opposite sex, I promise, but I guess that topic is my mental escape. Like reading a good book. Just getting away from the stress of daily life. This is mainly due to the fact that I know any relationship is either highly unlikely or downright impossible with anybody who flits across my mind at any point. Poop.

I'm going to Sclitterbahn next weekend. We're leaving at 4:30 AM! But it's a long drive. We'll be home Sunday evening at about 10. We're competing on Saturday and playing in the park on Sunday. Band concert Monday. Honors Ceremony the next Monday. Senior trip to Mountasia (?) the Friday after. The question mark is there because "the Mommas" (the group of black girls who are all mothers and tend to stir up trouble about the dumbest and simplest stuff) are pitching a fit to go to Astroworld, where we only go every year. It's gonna be fun wherever we go! We're missing school, getting free food, and getting $$! Quit complaining. Whatever.

I was recruited for the school yearbook. I did the varsity baseball pages, edited the JV softball page, and will probably end up doing something else by the end of the year. But it's fun, so I don't mind. I love playing on computers.

I really doubt anybody's going to read this, so I guess I'll say toodles and sign off. I finished Frankenstein and am ready for the test tomorrow. But I have a physics test, too. We only get a notecard... Bummer. Bye. Love y'all.

Clueless

Do all parents fight over stupid stuff? I mean, the littlest things set them off! It’s like they TRY to get on each other’s nerves! I mean, wow! Mom just adds fuel to the flame! She knows how he thinks. By now, I know how he thinks. Why do they insist on begin so immature and blind? And then Mom gets upset because she doesn’t feel loved! I wonder why! It’s the same concept as kicking a dog every day then wondering why he bites. It’s common sense! Maybe I’m just a young fool, but the answers seem so clear! Every problem can be avoided, less buttons pushed, less little things messed up and blamed on everyone but the true culprit… Adults. I almost wish I wasn’t one. But I have officially entered that world. I honestly hope and pray that I’m not dumb enough to fight about stupid stuff. But I know I will be. Despite the fact that I’ve never had that experience, it’s something I know will most likely happen. But I’m the freakin valedictorian, for cryin out loud! Shouldn’t I be able to figure it out? Another frustration with the adult world…

Wimmin

Wimmin are dumb! I mean, golly! I'm one, I know, but some women are just plain rock-dumb! We saw this guy lose control of his truck and go off the road. He stops in the ditch and gets out. He's perfectly alright. I stop and let him use my phone along with a couple of guys and some women in a van. The women in the van call the police! I mean, if there was more than one car involved or injuries, I can see that, but just one guy? Now he's going to get a ticket for losing control of his vehicle! Stupid! Even I know better than to call in on something like that! Good grief!!! I can't believe how stupid some people are...

Relay for Life

Well, last night was the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. Fun fun. It started at 7 pm and ended at 6 this morning. We cut out at about 5 this morning, but it was pretty fun. We stayed up and walked until about 3 then piled up in the tent. We tried to sleep, but it was too bright, too loud, and the ground was a tad bit too hard. So I drove the Hobbit (yay!) back home early this morning, got my bag out, and fell into bed. I slept from about 6:15 until about 10 when Jarrod called. My phone was ringing and I was trying to turn off my alarm clock (lol), and then I realized it was my cell, so I answered. He got into A&M! Yay!!! He's happy about that. He was actually home yesterday, but he left this morning for college again. He was at the baseball game last night when I came by to take pictures, but I didn't see him. I had his pictures with me, too! I've been roped into the yearbook staff, and I'm doing the varsity baseball spread. I needed candids to fill some spaces, so I left the relay to take them. I had to take Kourtney home first, but it wasn't too far. I promised Mawmaw (her grandma, but I've fondly adopted the name) that I'd take care of her. I got the pics I needed, but I didn't get any sleep last night. Good trade off? I haven't figured it out yet. I don't think I'll have any trouble going back to sleep tonight. Heh. Well, I've got to go get a shower and get ready for a church singing tonight. I'm running the sound system in the absence of my brother. Yeah... well, toodles all.

Explosive!

Today, as I was driving into the parking lot of the prison where my mother works, I was attacked! Ok, not really, but it sounded like it. You know how a water balloon sounds when it hits a car or window? That was what I heard; only it wasn’t a WATER balloon, but a soft drink of some sort. Or so I thought. When I looked around for the real cause of the disturbance, I saw, to my utter dismay that a half-can of Dr. Pepper (very similar to Mr. Pibb) had exploded! The culprit? The Texas heat. For those of you unfamiliar with the experience, let’s just say it’s not exactly cooling. But the can was super-cool, and I found myself laughing in spite of the situation. Oh well. The little joys of life are always a bit surprising.

I got prom pictures developed and actually got the professional pictures back yesterday. They’re great! I’m so excited! Photobucket.com, in my album (pampam05), if you want to see ‘em. The Hobbit’s fixed! Yay! We’re going to get it today, and I get to drive it home! I have to give Chip, the guy who fixed it, a big hug. Lol.

Well, my birthday was really great. I got flowers and balloons, a teddy bear, jewelry, $$, and lots of little blessings. It was great! I KNEW my senior year was worth waiting for! It’s been completely great the whole year! With the exception of a few minor inevitable mishaps, that is. Well, I’m copying pictures, and I think my yellow is almost out, but they’re already printed, so I’ve got to go cut ‘em out. Lots of love to everybody, especially Chad and Carrie Ann! Toodles!

18

It's my BIRTHDAY!!! I'm finally 18! Mom and Dad came in my room this morning and gave me two jewelry boxes... And in them was a pair of earrings, a necklace, and a ring! Light blue stones on yellow gold with a little white/silver around them, all in the shape of hearts. Yay! They're gorgeous! And Brandy gave me $21 (a 20 $ bill and a $1 to pin on my shirt) and a safety pin. Lol. It's a ritual at our school to pin a dollar on your shirt so everybody knows it's your b-day and gives you $$$. She also gave me card, which was really cute. M&D got me a card, too. It's gonna be a great day! The weather's awesome and I'm so happy! Still no wisdom... But I can wait. :)

Presents

Hey all. Tomorrow is the big day. Or maybe the not-so-big day. I got a present today. Actually, Mom got me an outfit and a purse Friday, but Alex gave me a cool homemade gift. It has music notes all over it and P-A-M in red foil behind a clear transparency-type cover. That cover has writing on it.

"The secret of all of those who make discoveries is that they regard nothing as impossible. Be yourself. That's all there is of you. To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived This is to have succeeded. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. Be silly. Be happy. Be kind. The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common. Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year. None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding. Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. Life is a festival only to the wise. Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitation, to waste a moment on yesterdays. The greatest gift is a portion of thyself."

I'm going to frame it and hang it on my wall. I know just the place. :)

Birthdays

I'll be 18 on Wednesday. I can't wait til I wake up and have waves of adult wisdom just wash over me! Yeah, I know, dream on. But why do I feel like this is such a big deal? So much bigger than 16, even.

Graduation

For those of you who don't know, it looks as if I'll be the official valedictorian this year, so I get to make a speech. However, I'm not sure that I'm up to this, so I'm asking for LOTS OF ADVICE!!! For those of you who are graduating with me, DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY!!! That's your warning, so don't blame me... Oh well. Seriously, any advice, comments, etc. I've pulled this from all over, be it emails or blogs, so it's collaborative. Lol. Here goes! It's kind of long, so you might be here for a few minutes. And it always works better when read aloud.

Rough Draft

In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly olive green one.

In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.

In second grade it was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

In third grade it was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.

In fourth grade it was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.

In fifth grade it was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

In sixth grade it was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that you wouldn't have to be embarrassed if they said no.

In seventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had forgotten.

In eighth grade it was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.

In ninth grade it was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only underage person there.

In tenth grade it was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.

In eleventh grade it was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the formal.

In twelfth grade it was the person who helped you pick out a college or university, assured you that you would get into that college or university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go...

At graduation it was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!

Remember that the friends who have stood by you through these past years will remain your friends for the rest of your lives. Don't let that vital relationship die! Each person you consider a friend has influenced you beyond even your own knowledge. We are the future, class of 2005. We are the present, and truly a major part of the shape of the world surrounding us. But we are also the past. And the past is a vital part of who we are and who we will become. So remember your friends.

Remember, too, your family. These wonderful people who have raised you are your strength. Your driving force.

Now, some of you might argue that your family didn't really support you as you think they should have, but think about this for a minute. Even if you feel that your parents made your life utterly miserable, leaving them to get out of that situation was your drive to graduate. So thank them. Even if you don't like them, you love them simply because they are your family, and don't ever forget that simple, yet vital fact.

It is my job this evening to give you words of wisdom for the future. And I've thought about a quote that will inspire you, or a personal story to encourage you to triumph, but neither of those seemed quite right. Other people don't live your life, and I'm absolutely not perfect. But there are a few simple concepts I would like for you to take away from my little bit tonight.

Love is the key to a full life. Love with all you have. Yes, it hurts when your heart is broken, but you can't fully live life when you only love half-way.

True friends are few and far between in this wide world. Stick by the ones you have and they'll stick by you. Don't turn your back on your friends when times get tough. Your friends are your only tie to reality when the world threatens to fall down around your ears.

Don't treat anybody like anything other than you would want to be treated. Remember the golden rule. That means don't indulge in the deceptions and animosity in the world. Remain above that. But don't ever let yourself believe that people are anything other than your own equal.

Guess what y'all. We're the future. The world will change from the decisions we make. Scary? Not really. I know that I am graduating with seventy-____ amazing people who know not only right from wrong, but the right way to live as well. Be true to your ideals. Know who you can turn to in times of trouble. Expect people to turn to you. Never turn away a lonely and fearful soul when it is in your power to change their life and make it better.

It is time for us to put our childish tendencies behind us. We must become mature adults. What is maturity? Maturity is growing up. Maturity is disagreeing gracefully - not throwing temper tantrums. It is being genuinely interested in other people. It is learning to listen. It is not having to constantly talk about yourself. It is being secure in yourself in all situations, free from intimidation and fear. Maturity is being who you are no matter whom you're with and not being ashamed of it. It is being content with what you have. It is not defining yourself by the type, brand, price or status of your possessions. Maturity is remaining humble when you are exalted. It is being able to relate to all ages and classes of people while communicating a sense of equal importance. It is being alone and unafraid. Maturity is never putting up a front. It is making life decisions based on long-term, rather than short-term satisfaction. It is not having to know everything about everyone. Maturity is not speaking negative words about anyone, even if they're true. It is remaining calm during confrontation. It is treating each person as if they've never wronged you. It is fading into the background instead of being in the spotlight. Maturity is speaking few words and speaking them well. Maturity is not an age thing. It's not a looks thing. Maturity isn't even about what you do. Maturity is about what you do as a result of who you've become on the inside.

Over the years, many things have influenced me personally. God, my parents, my brother, my friends, my church family, and many others have entered my life. Many have exited my life as well, but I have never not learned something from each person. Make that your ultimate goal. Learn something and change for the better with each new friendship, new relationship, and new experience. Do not allow life to become stale. Believe in what you know is true. Keep your roots strong. Know who you are, where you've come from, and who you want to be.

You know what to do. We are the graduating class of 2005. We are powerful, mighty, and united. We are here, standing behind each other, and you must in turn stand behind each of us. We made it. We will go on. Look out there. Meet the world with open arms, embrace life. I love all of you, and I know all of you will do great things. Best of luck, and may God bless each and every one of you. Congratulations, class of 2005.

Feet and Punkin Seeds

I have made two decisions.

1) Dirty feet should be included in the chronic disease category. It seems as if my feet are always dirty. But it's not a fatal chronic disease. Maybe it's just cuz I love to walk around without shoes.

2) Punkin seeds are good eatin!

Portable Feelings

I'm in the habit of actually writing my blog entries before I post them. So I can write/post without a computer and therefore make observations outside of whatever library or classroom I'm posting from. So I'm sitting on the sidewalk outside at lunch watching a couple of guys play hackie sack, waiting for Monion to show back up. But lunch is almost over. The library is occupied by straggling testers, so I can't go to my usual hangout.

Not to self: don't cook french toast when in a hurry. It took me about 30 minutes this morning to fix 8 slices of toast for me and Mom. Oh, and I've discovered that I absolutely LOVE to cook! I've been fixing breakfast foods for the past four days and I'm so impressed! Lol.

My cousins are here! And my uncle, his girlfriend, and their dog. Mema called my cell yesterday and told me to call her, so I did. She said, "There's somebody here who really wants to talk to you." She handed Ian the phone and he said, "hey there, Pammy!" Of course, that really made my day. We all went over to see them and hang out after we got home. I've missed them so much! They're visiting from Illinois.

Granny

Today is the seventh anniversary of my granny's death. She was an amazing person and we all miss her very much. People tell me I'm just like her, and that's the best compliment I could ever receive. When she was in the hospital for the last time, I prayed that she wouldn't die or be buried on my birthday and that she would live to see the book I wrote about her published. She didn't. Seven days before my eleventh birthday, at about 8 pm, she left us for a better home. The book came in May.

Irony here. Granddaddy passed away 7 days before my bro's 18th birthday. Ages were 7 years apart. Kinda cool, right? Well, I thought so anyway. This is our first anniversary of her death in this house. I miss her.

Sleeping In

Hey all! The rest of the school is taking TAKS (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills) this week so I get to sleep in! Along with the rest of the seniors, that is. Revival was awesome, in case anybody was wondering. Pray for our revival team, though, cuz they live in Indiana, which is a massive drive, and the preacher's wife is having some serious health problems. But I've got chores before I go to class, so toodles! Love y'all!

Prom News!

Mmmk, prom. I danced with Ricky, Trevor, Cullen, Josh, William, and of course, Jarrod. We ate at Papdeaux's. For the two of us it was $52 and some change, and I got complimentary dessert for my impending birthday. Vanilla Cheesecake with strawberries and a fork for everybody. :) I got my hair done at 10:30, but first I picked up flowers. Jarrod's mom did my nails, and I love 'em! We've got pictures form the house, from Jarrod's, and from prom, so y'all'll get to see us when I get them posted. Our pictures (pro) are gonna be so cute! Jarrod taught me how to two-step, and we danced together about 5 times. We left about 11:45, changed, then went to Jim's house. We watched DVD's and then fell asleep in various locations. It was so cold! I found some socks, but we still froze. Jarrod suggested body-heat sharing, but that would've been a bit awkward... When I finished dancing with Cullen I kissed him on the cheek just because. And I didn't want to have any regrets. Know what I mean? So I did it. Reason? Because he's a great guy and a friend. Impulsive? Lol. We had a "senior moment" where we all got on the dance floor and cheered and swayed to "Freebird" and watched Chad play air guitar on Troy's cane. We got souvenirs and the punch cups and goofy pictures, so we'll definitely remember. Nothing "happened" at our party, so don't even worry. Jim piled up in a tent, Ashley and Tim curled up by the fire, and the other Ashley and Wormy, her boyfriend, slept in the back of his Tahoe. (We checked on them a few times until they fell asleep.) Jarrod and I tried to sleep in the bed of his truck, but we weren't very successful because it was so cold. We watched a couple of movies, like I said, and had an absolute blast!!! I don't think I forgot anything... but can you think of any question? I had so much fun!!! I'm so glad I went with the group and had a date!

He Didn't Come

He didn't come.

Moving on, tonight's prom!!! Jarrod will be here at about 3:15 to pick me up, and I'm so excited! My hair's so cute! Yes, I'll take pictures. Jarrod's mom did my nails and Lisa did my hair. I picked up Brandy's corsage and Jarrod's flower. (Too hard to spell.) I'm pumped! My makeup's done and my jewelry's on, now I'm just waiting until about 2:30 to put my dress on. It's glittery and "sheds" everywhere. We're staying at Jim's house after prom and Derek'll come pick me up for church. Should I wear my dress to church tomorrow?

But he didn't come. Revival was good last night. And I'm sure it'll be good tonight. Two services tomorrow, and then we're done. I almost cried when he never showed up. Is that sad? Yeah, it is, but I couldn't help it. I was so looking forward to his visit. And now I don't know when I'll see him again. He'll be in J-town in the summer... Well, I've got other things to concentrate on, so I'll be aight.

I've got another poem. I was struck with an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy when I read everybody else's poems, but I'll post my newest poem possibly tomorrow. Well, I'm off! Talk to y'all later! Lots of love and hugs to everybody!

A Poem

Hey all! Just gotta be like everyone else. I wrote this a while back, and I don't think it's quite finished, but I'm stuck. Ideas, comments, you know how it goes. And yeah, it rhymes, but that's the easiest method for me.

Lonely

What I dream of in a guy
Is as plain as day.
I want one handsome, brave, and strong.
I want one who will stay
Close beside me through the night
To keep me safe and warm.
Someone to hold and love me tight
Through all of life's bitter storms.

A Christian man with strong ideals
Not prone to infidelity and deceit
Is my desire, the one true test,
Which may prove too large a feat.
Long enough have I waited
For the true love of dreams.
I feel myself losing hope
As I come apart at the seams.

Hectic days and lonely nights
Create dreams of chaos.
I awake to silent walls,
Pillows warm from long night's toss.
As I dress and prepare for the day
And wish for arms around me
It's as fruitless as a desert
To think that I could truly be free.

Free from dark and evil dreams
And dragons that rise from the sea.
Free from spider-webs that grab you in the night
And traps set just for me.
For this black hole is as a prison,
Layered thick with fear
Of never-ending solitude as it echoes
Always and forever, "No one there."

Yeah, it started as a description and ended as a cry for something more... But still, it doesn't seem right. Suggestions?

Last night I went out to eat with Jarrod's family. It was fun, and I'm glad I went, even if I did miss revival. Well, got a few things to do, so toodles for now. Love y'all!

Killer Type

You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you
somewhat.

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile

http://www.quizilla.com/users/PainfulBliss/quizzes/What%20Type%20of%20Killer%20Are%20You%3F%20%5Bcool%20pictures%5D

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
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To answer Amethyst's question and fill the rest of my clueless audience in, here's a brief filler on the guy I was excited about seeing yesterday. Ryan is a preacher-friend of mine. He's 24, and has a little boy, but he's never been married. Yes, I said he's preacher. Not ordained, but he's REALLY REALLY good! Well, God uses him in amazing ways. He has an awesome testimony, too. We originally met him when he came with a singing group to our church, and we've had him back to preach a few times and just love him to death. We email each other periodically, so I know what's generally going on, but we haven't had a chance to really talk since the last time he came, which was in January. He was invited back to spend Friday and Saturday with us for the revival and dinner and for us to see his son, whom we haven't met yet, but I don't know if he'll come. I sent him a message this morning asking if he was going to make it back, but he doesn't check his email very often... He's super sweet and super cool and a really great guy, and he's friend of the entire family. I hope he comes!

Prom is this Saturday! Jarrod's mom offered to help with my hair, dress, nails, or anything else I needed for prom, so she's going to do my manicure at about 9:30 on Saturday. My hair appt. is for 10:30, and I have to pick up my date's boutonniere that morning, so I'll be a little busy, but it's no biggie. I can take Mom's car and get everything taken care of. I'm so excited! Everybody keeps asking if Jarrod and I are going out... I tell them no, which is the truth, but do you honestly have to be "seeing" someone to go to prom? No, of course not! I'm just glad I'm an optimistic person and can guarantee I'll have a good time! Yay! Well, that's what's going through my head right now, so I'm floating on Cloud 9! I'll write more when I come back down, which means you probably won't hear from me for the rest of today! Hehe. Love y'all! Toodles!

My "More"

Ok, here's my "more." Well, Jim consented to go with us. Our reservations are for 5 PM, so we're going really early, but we'll have plenty of time to eat. So it'll be ok. Hopefully we'll have a great time. Jarrod's ordering my corsage today, I think. His boutonniere has been done since Monday afternoon, so they'll match wonderfully.

Ryan's coming! He's supposed to call this morning and tell Dad if he's coming early enough to eat with us. But he'll be here this evening to preach for sure. His brother is a Marine who just got home from Iraq, and might come with him, but I couldn't tell you for sure. Well, that's pretty much what's going on today, so I guess I'll talk to y'all later! Love y'all! Toodles.

UPDATE> Ryan's not coming for supper. He has some sort of inservice or a workshop or something, so he'll be here later than we had hoped. Bummer. But we're still going to eat with the revival music leader's family, so I have to leave early anyway. Poop. I wanted to hang out with my buddy. Oh well. Now to work on scholarship stuff...

News

Jim's going with us!!! Yay! More later...

Time and Prom Problems

Time wants to be either killed or used. I can't help but kill Time. He just won't stop laughing at my jokes!

Revival starts tomorrow. We're meeting Ryan at 4:30 at the church and then taking him out to eat.

Our prom plans have changed about 15 times. We were going to Beaumont to Johnny Carino's, then to the Cattle Company Steakhouse, then Olive garden, the a restaurant in Nacogdoches called La Hacienda, then to the Junction Restaurant in Huntsville. I mentioned it to Mom and she strictly forbade my going to Huntsville for dinner before prom. Dad teamed up with her, so we're going to Beaumont again, to Papadeaux's. It's a seafood restaurant, which we wanted to avoid because 2 of our party don't like seafood, but they serve other things.

I called Jarrod almost in tears this morning, angry and upset about their decision, but we got it sorted out. We're wearing our dresses to dinner after much debate, but now Jim doesn't want to go because she's sacred she'll get something on her dress. And she doesn't want to be the only one not dressed up. But we're staying at her house after prom! I tried telling her not to sacrifice having a good time for the sake of a difference in dress, or a stupid spot on her formal, but she's convinced she can't stay clean. It's frustrating, because this has been going on all weekend. We're working our butts off, trying to find a place that everybody likes and agrees with so we can all be together! And we just want to make reservations! I told my mother I think I'm going to get an ulcer if this keeps up much longer. I've got to go work on my research paper...

Results

Well, we didn't advance in OAP yesterday, but we're all tired, so it's not really that bad of a thing. A part of me wanted to advance, but the rest of me just wants a break from my four-year time, energy, and mind investment. Tired. I know, my readers and fellow bloggers have SO MUCH more going on that I do, but, hey, it's my blog. I'm feeling better than I was, so that's a plus. I'm gonna take a loooong nap after church... Well, got to go. Sunday School starts in a few minutes... Toodles.

My Dress!!!

Well, what do y'all think? Lemme know! I'll get pics of me in it after prom. Toodles!

The Surreal Life

Today is a very surreal experience. It's like I'm not really here, in these halls, seeing these people. Maybe I'm just so comfortable in my surroundings that I just don't feel real anymore. Whatever it is, it's not necessarily a bad feeling. I know that the people around me are all people I know and care about, so maybe I should just relax and enjoy it. Go figure. Well, just today's observation. 18 days!!! Hehe. I'll be 18 in 18. :P Going dress shopping today. Leaving at 2, will report back on what we find. I promise!!! Possibly even pictures... But no promises. Toodles!

Capitulate

Wow. I feel so shallow. The world doesn't revolve around me. Far from it; I am a pawn in a bigger game. A friend of ours died this morning. Very sad. His wife is probably not going to be able to handle it well. Makes you realize just how small you are in a world where bigger things are happening.

My Complaints

Do you ever just feel used? I guess that's how I feel today. In One Act Plat, I buy stuff, I get things, I'm responsible for so much, and none of it's appreciated. It just pisses me off! And I don't get mad about anything! I get annoyed, I get frustrated, but I don't get mad. And that really makes me mad! In National Honor Society, Zack and I generally bear the bulk of the work, the responsibility, and the organization while our president sits back and tries to delegate, yet won't let us do "anything without her." In Spanish Honor Society, I never get any news about what's going on, I'm informed at the last minute that things are going to happen,and I'm president of the club! And yet it's not ok for me to say, "Wait, I want to be a part of this, since I AM supposed to be in charge here!" In Interact, I do a lot, but I'm thanked for it at least. In band, I volunteer to do a lot, but then our director expects me to make sure every little thing in my section is taken care of. There are ten people in my section, the people don't even listen to me, and I'm in charge!?!? What am I doing? Why can't I just say no? Let go? Let someone else take care of it. Yeah, right. I got myself into this hole, but I can't get out. I know, "stop digging," but it's not that easy. How can I get out of this trench when all I have is my own two hands? And I'm out of drive, out of desire. I want to just blame my problems on two or three justly responsible parties... but I can't. I wasn't raised to be that way. I'm the type of person that finishes what I start. I can't let other people take over my tasks until I'm finished. And I can't finish until replacements have been named. We should have no problem taking care of that. Elections will be pretty soon and OAP won't advance. It'll all be over pretty soon...

Well, for those of you who take the time to read this: thanks. I've been having tons more bad days than usual, and it;s beginning to worry me. I have a request. Give me reasons to be happy with my life as it is. Anything you can think of, any reason you can come up with. Now don't get any ideas about me being (heaven forbid) suicidal. I'm just almost to a point of what feels like, and I can only describe as depression. I've got to snap out of it, but I can't do it alone. I'm going to need help. Any and all is welcome. Porkchop, have you noticed? Do I seem as different as I feel? Thanks guys. Lots of love. Toodles.

Kim

Well, Kim... Kim is my super-cool awesome buddy who shares my birthday. She is a preacher's daughter and one of my close friends. She has this really cool little green quote book in which she writes comments about life, observations, and random thoughts. I'm not allowed to publish comments without permission, so maybe I'll get back to you on those. She's actually a year younger than I am, but there are strange parallels in our lives. We're both the youngest daughter. We were both born in California. Both of our fathers are active church. We're both in band, Interact, NHS, and soon, SHS. Well, that's my Kim entry. Nothing to do today that's just hugely important, so toodles! Oh, 19 days until my birthday! And only 50-some-odd days until graduation! Counting weekends. Love y'all!

Houston

As a side note, we don't count the day of our birthday or the day we're in. So, with simple additions from yesterday, my birthday is the 27th. Just fyi. I was going to talk about something... Oh well, I forgot. No, wait! The AR trip! I'm going to Houston today to tour a museum, shop at the mall, and watch an Astros game. Accelerated Reader is a program we started back in first grade. We read books then take quizzes for points. I've gone on every AR trip since they started going places. We used to buy things with our points, but have since substituted field trips. Fun fun! I know we'll have a blast. Well, hope everybody's having a good day! With my counting system, we have 20 days left! Yay! I'll explain about Kim tomorrow. Love y'all!

2day

21 DAYS!!! I'll be 18 in 21 days!!! Yay! Well, just a minor update. Zack is taking me home again today, since no truck yet, so I'll actually get home in a timely manner. Didn't do a whole bunch today, except watch some movies and a do super-easy Calculus lesson. Derivatives are cool. Hehe. Talked to Josh last night on AOL about how things are going. He's in the Army, stationed in WA. He's actually one of my brother's friends, but I know him from band and school and stuff. His buddy Paul got on his name and we talked for a second, then I had to get off the comp so Dad could use the phone. Oh well. It was nice talking to him. Well, toodles!

Agenda

For all of my fans (yeah, I know "whatever"), I'm feeling lots better about life today. Just letting you know. I am now on my way to the band hall to paint my toenails...

One of Those Days

Didn't I already have one of these? Well, very little sleep (about 4 of my usual 7 1/2 to 8) has semi-fried my brain into an apathetic state. Go figure. I'm supposed to be in Physics right now, but all of the females in the class invaded the library. Cool, huh? So far the day hasn't actually been that bad, but just waking up this morning threw me off my game. Hehe. Like I have game. But apparently everyone already knows about my prom date. Which is actually cool because it means that people talked about me, at least to say that if nothing else. Would have had a nap yesterday, as is custom, but Kristen called so I had to call her back, and then Jarrod called, so I had to call him back (these were two missed calls from earlier in the day). I talked to each one of them for about 10 minutes then rolled over to catch some z's, but then Jonathan called. This guy is an old acquaintance from previous years in high school. We saw each other at the pageant/play over the break and traded numbers. On a bit of a whim, at least on my part. He called me up Sunday afternoon just to chat and we spent about five minutes talking then about half that again in silence. I told him I'd "let him go" and proceeded to attempt sleep again. Too hot, then too cold, then no comfortable position, on and on it went. Same again last night. My calves were cramping and, after a great massage from Mom and a shower, I was heating them with a rice bag. So my bed was too hot. Then I kicked the covers off and my arms were cold. Man, talk about a rough combination. Usually, when I get a nap I don't sleep very deeply, but the nap makes up for it. Yesterday, no nap, no sleep. This spatula is one tired puppy. But I have OAP practice again tonight and no ride still. Maybe, someday, my prince will come. I broke the news to Dad that I'll probably end up marrying a man in uniform. Something about the way they look in those things... *sigh* La-da-da-da la-la-la da-la la-da-la-laaaa... Needs some of Chad's music notes. :) Toodles all. Love ya!

Update

Ok, scratch that. Going to J-town with Kristen until it's time for practice. Now to find a way home...

TGI Friday!!!

Great restaurant, by the way. Hmm, more Dogwood practice, then I'm stuck in town until midnight again with Derek. But maybe I'll find something to do... All of my gal pals are gonna be at the Kingsmen Ball, so we'll just have to wait and see. All alone today. Yay! Mom's better! But I don't know how long that'll last. She's going to the doctor on Monday. Derek's truck is almost fixed, and the Hobbit's up next, but it isn't looking good. I probably won't have my baby back until after next week. Serious bummer. Well, somebody give me an update on what's new in the outside world! I feel so isolated. One by one the penguins steal my sanity...

Dilemmas

Hey all. Zachary Binx, he didn't answer me yet, but I talked to Jim about who all was going with us, and I think our group expanded. I went dress shopping yesterday. I found this really cute dress at Arc & Sparkle, but it was $170. In Austin I saw this GORGEOUS dress at Dillard's, that actually fit and everything, and it was $150, so it all depends on how much Dad is willing to spend. He originally said $100, but the odds of my finding a dress for less than $150 that I really like are slim to none. I think I'll go to the resale shop this weekend. It's Dogwood this weekend, Porkchop. You comin down? We've got to march and then I'm running lights at the pageant. Prolly go hang out at the police station or wander around town like last weekend between the two events. Unless I go to Jarrod's again. But I'm reluctant to wear out my welcome, since we are going to prom together. Last weekend, I walked from the courthouse to his house. Long walk. Maybe the Hobbit will be running again by Saturday... I'm not going to go to the Kingsman Ball Friday. I just don't want to get all dressed up to go dance with old people. I may change my mind, but only after I talk to Cooney and Porkchop and maybe Jim and Brandy. We'll see. I'll keep you posted about that. I have my dress from homecoming last year (gorgeous black dress), but I don't have shoes and I have no idea what I would do with my hair. So those are my dilemmas. Should I go to the dance? And what do I do between the parade and pageant? Ideas? From anybody. Well, I'm going to get a shower. Then I've got to clean the kitchen and finish some laundry. I might just clean my room. Brad's going to come pick me up and take me to practice tonight. Should I be worried? Lol. He's not exactly the most reliable person, or an incredibly safe driver, but I trust him. Go figure. Love y'all! Toodles!

I've got a Secret...

And I'll never te-ell. No, just kidding. Here's my news: I’ve got a prom date! Yay! I got a phone call last night at about 7 last night. After wondering what on earth he was calling me for, Jarrod tells me “I’m going to prom.” And so I have a date! I asked him earlier this year if he wanted to go to prom, and if he wanted to go to me. He was originally going to a concert that weekend, but his mom talked him into going. Since I asked him, he gets to pick the restaurant for dinner. So we’re going to Johnny Carino’s, which is fine with me. We’re going with Ashley C. Tullia, Tim, Josh’s date, and Jim (if she wants to go with a bunch of “losers” ;) ).

Jarrod’s been one of my best friends for a long time now, which is a phenomenon I haven’t quite figured out. We just… understand each other. I can talk to him and he just listens, which is something I need sometimes more than friendly advice. He’s my buddy. And I guess we’ll always be that way. We have this amazingly awesome camaraderie. Once, at his house, we were going someplace, I think out to get something to eat for the family, and he asked me if I was ready, and it suddenly struck me that I would never lose the friendship we have, and if something happened and I did, it would break my heart. And whenever I hang out at his house, which happened quite frequently when he’s home, his parents always welcome me with open arms and an open pantry. Hehe. It seems lie they always feed me something. We’ve had Dairy Queen, pork ribs, leftovers, snacks, and pizza. It’s so nice to never feel like I’m imposing unless I’m imagining things. Some days I don’t like to stay very long because they do so much for me when I’m there, and I feel indebted to them. But I supposed it’s just his mom’s way of repaying me (unnecessarily) for being Jarrod’s friend.

Mom had a friend with whom she was very close and Dad adjusted to her friendship and became friends with her friend, so now they both love him and his family to death. I suppose Jarrod will be like that with me and whoever I end up with. He means that much to me. I guess I’ve never really told anybody about how I see Jarrod before now.

Well, just wanted to let everybody know that I’ve got a prom date!!! My very first prom date (which isn’t too bad a statistic since I’m only going to two total) and my first official “date”, even if he is just a friend. I’m going dress shopping today for a little while in town after my optometrist appointment.
Dad’s going to pay for my dress, so I’ve just got to pick one out. I’m going to pick up some shoes for the Kingsmen Ball Friday night, too. I haven’t actually decided about going, but I’m leaning toward a yes since Kristen and Sarah and a bunch of my friends are going to be there. I don’t know if I should bring somebody or not… Jim, do you have an escort or are you just going with Sarah? Well, toodles ya’ll! Love ya!

Gettin Stuck

I wrote that last post before this happened, so I thought it would be appropriate to separate them. Ok, last night we went to get my father unstuck at our pasture down the road from our house. This pasture is chock-full of gumbo! If you northerners don’t know what that is, it’s best described as dark clay-like dirt that clings to everything and makes for awesome muddin in any season. Anyway, we had the HARDEST time getting out of that sludge! You can see the four-wheelers and our clothing. http://photobucket.com/albums/y59/pampam05/ It was… fun, if a bit messy. We raced home on the highway (illegal, I know, but necessary). Got home at about 11:30 (we left at 10) and took off our muddy outer layers under the carport and ran inside, got showers, and went to bed. I’m now tired and injured. The rope burn is from the rope we were going to pull the other 4-wheeler out with. It got caught on the tire and pulled off into the mud. Unfortunately, it was still around my wrist at that point. I got a hole in my finger from lifting the gate. That really hurt, but I didn’t even cry! Aren’t y’all proud? Well, after my night of adventure, it is MY job to clean off the buggies and make sure everything is back where it belongs. Oh joy. Well, toodles! Love to all.

The Butterfly Effect

Watched The Butterfly Effect last night. That was very interesting. It brings to mind a very serious question. One that I thankfully don’t have to face. Would I give up knowing the person I love the most in order to save that person and those around me? I don’t know if I could decide. Given the situation presented in the movie, I would presumably choose the same over-all outcome. It actually turned out perfectly fine except for that seemingly small- but in reality the ultimate- sacrifice. Any thoughts?

Chores

I finished my chores for today! With the exception of finishing the laundry, that is. I cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, swept, folded clothes, cleaned the bathroom, and straightened my room and the living room. There's nothing better than hot sudsy water... No, mowing the lawn is definitely better. The only part of all that I didn't/don't enjoy is switching the wash. I can handle folding and putting away, even hanging up clothes, but being interrupted every hour... Oh well. At least I got stuff accomplished. And I'm not stressed about much right now, so that's good. Maybe I'll go climb a tree later. I seriously plan on the nature walk/huntin trip before the week's up. I'll keep you posted. Love y'all! Talk to you later. Toodles.

Spring Break

Yay! Finally!!! I'm on Spring Break! My fried brain wil have time to cool off, even though I do have to do some chores. Well, just wanted to let everyone know it was time to CELEBRATE!!! Toodles for now!

Home

Okay, my list about home. Things I love about Home:
The sound of Dad practicing the song he’s going to sing at church
The busyness of Sunday mornings
The smell of dinner on the stove
Uninterrupted afternoon naps
Listening to the rain lull me to sleep at night
Taking hot showers whenever I want
Listening to Derek and Brandy talk and laugh on the weekends
The sound of the calves after each weaning
The sight of our horse running and playing on cold winter days
My puppies wrestling on the living room floor
The massive oak tree in the back yard
Green, green grass and fading blue Texas skies late in the afternoon
Sunsets over the lake
Moonrises over the lake
Trick-or-treating in the neighborhood
Watching the kids ride bikes back and forth to each other’s houses
Muddin on the four-wheelers
Muddin in the truck
Chasin cows
Talkin about cow tippin and snipe huntin
Fresh sausage
Home-grown beef
Peaceful spring evenings in the woods
Slow-paced city streets
Going to Wal-Mart to hang out
Pretending you’ve got someplace to go just so you can start your car in front of everybody
Volunteering to help at church
Children who all know your name
Being the first big attraction in the annual festival parade (the band)
Knowing everybody’s name in your class and almost in the whole school
Remembering the good times
Bonfires late at night, listenin to good ole Texas country
Weenie roasts
Marshmallows around the fire
Family get-togethers
Pizza from the little store down the road
Riding four-wheelers illegally down the shoulder of the highway
Goin to the horse parade
Burnin candles and nobody caring
Drying flowers in the curtains
Knowing all of the police officers in town
Mowing the lawn on Saturdays
Taking candid photos of people
Playing with our “big” dogs
Sleepin on over spring break
Painting walls
Listening to the weather channel in the background
Watching goofy TV shows
Yelling at the TV during football games
Curling up around my body pillow and sleeping in on Saturday
Going to impromptu get-togethers
Running into Beaumont for a movie or some bowling
Riding in Jarrod’s truck
Chillin and watching movies
Talkin on the phone to all my pals
Driving the Hobbit
Taking naps outside in the summer time
Reading my favorite books twice in a row in my room
Watching the grass grow and the flowers bloom
Feeling that awesome Texas sun on my back every season of the year

The only thing that really stinks is the lack of snow. No snowboarding, no skiing, no snowballs. I’ve never even seen snow in real life. Pity me. Hehe. But it’s really great at home. Happy Easter! Toodles! Now I’m gonna go do some push-ups…

In town

Hey all. Shoutin out from my buddy Jarrod's house in the wood pile. I'll definitely be working on that "things about home" list like amethyst did. Listenin to Texas country! wOOt! Lol. Toodles!

Short and Sweet

Ok, my blog post today is going to be short and sweet. Dad and I went to get Derek yesterday from college. I was supposed to go to UIL comp, but I didn’t. Hehe. I then mowed the front yard when we got home, which was ok, but I got a blister on my hand. I’m a wimp, I know. Today is our children’s Easter celebration at church where we’ll hide eggs, cook food, and tell the Easter story. It’s pretty fun. Well, happy Easter to all! Love y’all and toodles!

One Act Competition

We got first!!! wOOt!!! We're advancing to area! And I'm so proud of all of my boys! They were all terrific! We also got best ensemble and best actress, along with some all-star honorable mentions and all-star casts. Yay! After 4 years, we're finally advancing! I was seriously more pumped than this but I read a comment from some french dude on Pass the Ammo and got mad. But I had pizza today and a blast during the play (I love to be on edge), and I finished my English paper (11 pages! hoo-rah!) and took a super-easy calculus test. I'm off for the next 10 days from school and all I have to do over the break is do my Physics test (a take-home test, due Monday) and problems. Piece of cake! Well, I'm gonna go mess around and surf some more, so toodles! Love y'all! Oh, and I got a cute dress for Easter and new shoes!!! I love shoes...

High School terminology

The word for today is "dealio." Pronounced DEAL ee o, it means the same exact thing as you would guess it means. Surprised? It's typical, believe me. Hehe. Toodles.

Spring!!!

It's spring in the wood pile. The trees and flowers are blossoming and blooming. The pollen is running in yellow rivers down the sidewalks after our periodic showers... But it's so gorgeous!!! I mean, who couldn't help being amazed by the blue Texas skies and soft, green grass? It's delicious! Ok, I know that sounds strange, but I'm one who would love to live in a perpetually spring to fall to spring atmosphere. Skip summer and winter completely as long as it's still warm enough to swim.

Does anybody else like french fries on their hamburger? And lots of ketchup... I'm having a great day, thanks for asking. Hope y'all are stayin cool and safe! Love y'all! Toodles!

Jam-Packed

Hello again Blogosphere! How is everybody today? Not many comment lately, but I know all of my friends are still out there. So, report in! Let me know how things are going and how life is treating you so far this week, Props to Chad for his super-cool theme design. And a shout-out to Erik on spring break! Heath, hope you're having an awesome day! Brandy, talk to ya later girl. Thanks so much for the messages you leave in my locker! Jim, thanks for getting interested in blogging and writing regularly. Porkchop, love you so much! Miss ya girlie! Lil Sis, BIG HUG!!! I know y'all are praying for me, and I'm praying for y'all, too! Any special requests, just let me know. Anybody figured out who 6MIM is yet? Not me, though I've been asking around. I haven't asked Brandy or Jim, but I don't think it's either one of them. We'll see. Or at least I hope we will. No, I'm not being paranoid, Chad, I'm just curious. I feel like I should know this person and I don't. Just been on my mind a tad lately. Had a dream Saturday night about Trevor. He got sick during our OAP performance and I had to let everybody know to act around his part, and then I went and took care of him. Why did I dream this? I don't know. No rhyme or reason except maybe an unexplored fear that all won't go well during competition or tomorrow night's performance. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Hehe. That's a song. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure some of you know that, but I had to tell the younger generation just in case.

When I grow up and get rich (hehe, I can dream, right?) I want a personal masseuse and a really big 4X4 truck. I like pie. I really really like pie. Apple pie, and cherry pie, and punkin pie, and pee-can pie, and coconut creme pie, and chocolate pie, and fudge pee-can pie, and lemon meringue pie, and shrimp pie, and shrimp kabobs, and shrimp gumbo, and shrimp fettucini, and shrimp ice cream, and shrimp scampi, and fried shrimp, and boiled shrimp, and stewed shrimp, and sauteed shrimp, and shrimp a la mode (with ice cream), and shrimp with mushrooms, and steak 'n' shrimp, and shrimp and taters, and pork and beans. Courtesy of Forrest and Tito.

Life's like a box of chocolates. Sometimes, you take a bite of one and you find it completely disgusting, but sometimes, on a wild gamble, you stumble onto the greatest tastin piece ever created. Which piece are you chewin on? Is it more than you can handle? It ain't more than HE can handle. Promise. Funny, idn't it, how He can turn a nasty booger of a situation into a great thing and never need your help at all? Or He can use the strangest things to draw you closer to him... For instance, this blog started out as a completely blank space, as did all of our blogs did. And, through interactions with all of y'all I'm feeling more inclined to pray more often, instead of when I think of a specific need. Like prayin for Heath and Porkchop all the time. And prayin for Chad, Carrie Ann, Jim, Lil Sis, and Brandy. And prayin for Erik. The one on spring break and the other one I know.

Which reminds me. Chad, you and your buds will sympathize, I'm sure. To summarize, this other Erik was out with his buddies and all of their wives when one of them had an accident. Half of his face was shot off at close range by his own dropped sawed-off shotgun. Erik ran down to check on him after he screamed and passed out at the sight. After they took the injured guy to the hospital, Erik went to see about him. He found out that he was already gone and passed out again. The whole experience was very traumatizing, as I'm sure you can well imagine. Erik is having an understandably difficult time dealing with this and is in serious need of our prayers.

So, anyway, thanks for readin this jam-packed post. I hope it made you laugh, made you think and that you enjoyed visiting the twisted mind of Spatula (a.k.a. Spat, Pam, Map, Wad, Spam, Pam-Pam, Pam-Bam, Spamela, Pammy, and Mom). Love and toodles!

NHS

National Honor Society inductions are tonight at 7:30. We, the members have to be here at 7:15 while the inductees have to be here at 7. My task is introducing the guest speaker. Fun fun. Then OAP practice tonight from about 8:30 or 9 until midnight. Super, huh? Mom's car is busted. Radiator's got a hole in it. That makes three out of four vehicles out of commission. Dad doesn't have his work truck anymore. We're floundering, but spring break is next week, so we'll make it, if just barely. Things are smooth for the time being, since I have a few of my biggest tasks taken care of or postponed. The research paper is still due Thursday, but I checked out on of these cool little typer-thingys called an Alphasmart, so I can work at home. They're like a word document in a portable, battery-operated mini-computer. And the info transfers to the big computers, so we save time and can go and work elsewhere. They're rather convenient. So, here I am killing time again in the library. Oh, there's the bell! Til tomorrow then! Love to all. Toodles!

Praise the Lord! Pass the...

Casserole! Hehe. In light of it being Sunday, my reflections on my religion of practice are as follows: agree with most everything except the dancing and drinking policies. Now don't misunderstand, I don't approve of drinking and driving or getting so smashed you can't see or walk straight, but I, being a teenager and rather inexperienced in that field, see nothing wrong with consuming, as long as it's not in excess. But maybe that's just me. The whole dancing thing just kills me! Watch Footloose! Lol. Great movie, if rather cheesy. But on with the day. I really do love going to church, and I feel sorry for people who aren't in a position to go every Sunday. Or Saturday, depending on denomination. Which is another thing that's incredibly flexible with me. I haven't had a chance to explore different views and choose my own. I don't know if I will when I get out into the world, but it's a thought. A special thanks to Erik and all who do for your prayers and thoughts. This whole blog thing is really a whole 'nother experience than what I expected. Thanks for making it great commenters and friends! Hope it's interesting. Well, love to all and toodles! Got to take my big bro back to college bc we're having tons of car trouble, so I'll get home kinda late tonight, but I'll talk to y'all tomorrow!

Pictures!

Yay! I have pictures online! http://photobucket.com/albums/y59/pampam05/ http://photobucket.com/albums/y59/pampam05/ http://photobucket.com/albums/y59/pampam05/ I hope this link works... If not, go to photobucket.com, pampam05 account, should be public. There are pics of me and of the puppies. My mom is holding the babies in one of them. The white one is Chloe and the brown one is Cookie. They're choodles. Hehe. Chihuaua (Did I spell that right?) mixed with poodle. And then there's one of me and the biggest fish I've EVER caught. I was so proud! Well, just wanted to share that... I would say all comments welcome, but I don't know if I'm brave enough. Oh, ok, anything and everything you think, let me know. *Grimaces* Break it to me gently, ok? Well, toodles! Again.

FOOD! wOOt!

Key Lime Pie yogurt, crawfish, dill pickles (snappy), spaghetti, ice cream, Dr. Pepper... All awesome. And my menu today. Not all together, mind you, but all there. I really don't like parental time controls and boot-leg rules that change so much it makes my head spin. Go figure. Don't pack your stuff and leave Heath!!! Stay a while! That's that genuine Texas hospitality. Hehe. Thank y'all for your encouragement and steady additions to my little world. You have no idea how much I appreciate your feedback, comments, and just presence! Love to all! Toodles!

Car Ride

Mom made a comment in the car this afternoon that I should stop worrying about all of this and give it to God. She's right. Need prayers on that one. Love y'all!

More Thoughts

Was thinking today during Gov't about life again. I'm cyclical in my behavior patterns. At the beginning of the year I'm happy, energetic, interested in everything, and very talkative and extroverted. As the year goes on, I get busy, less extroverted, less talkative, and more stressed. This lasts until One Act is almost over then I begin the climb back to the top of my emotional mountain. This year has been the worst year so far. It inevitably happens, with each year a little different. This process didn't actually begin cycling through until seventh or eighth grade. I guess the whole process of school was still a novelty before that. Hopefully college will renew my vigor for school and passion for learning. I surely hope so. Toodles.

Another Big Question

The other day I asked myself a question. “Is my life perfect?” No. Of course not, but it’s pretty darn good. But what’s wrong with it? Let’s see, my parents argue about stupid stuff and are dumb about things even I know, my car doesn’t run, we don’t have enough $ stabilization to fix both my brother’s truck and my car in an expedient manner, and there are days when I just can’t get it all together; days when I want something. I know what it is that I want, but I don’t know how to get it. I want someone to wrap strong arms around me and tell me I’m wanted and beautiful and all his. I want to know that I’m valued. I want to be hugged by more than just my girl friends. Is that so wrong? Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that I have what I have. I have wonderful parents who love and support me, as well as friend who do the same. I love my car, and I never want for anything I need. But I’m at a loss for what to do. Chad, I am only 17, but there are days when I feel so much older.

I feel like a little monkey playing the cymbal, tambourine, and drum all at once, dancing in circles for an invisible audience. What is the monkey? Is it stuff that I can’t seem to stop doing, like my responsibilities? Is it life’s endless cycle, in my case the mundane chaos of school? Is it sin that never seems to completely go away, not matter how hard I try to avoid it each day? Does anybody really know what the monkey is? And do you ever feel like you’re just dancing for the music of a mighty band that you can’t quite see? Without feeling the beat, so you’re always a little different than every other monkey in the world? Maybe I’m crazy. I think my personal assessment changes a little each day. I just want to sleep. Relax, go to Hawaii, or go skiing, just get away from it all. Who doesn’t, I know. But this is MY blog, isn’t it? Hehe. Today’s not all that bad, but I am tired. And I’ve got deadlines approaching, so I’ve got to stay on task and on top. Thanks for listening blogosphere. I feel better now. But I think I might have to get a tape recorder like Heath mentioned…

Maybe I'm weird...

Is it weird that I like to walk into a room with a swinging door and not actually touch the door? Hehe. Maybe I'm weird. Ok, so I'm definitely weird. But today is MUCH better than yesterday. After my frustrated blog I went to the band hall. You know, consoling people and/or listening to other people's problems really helps when you're feeling down. Carl had a difficult seventh period (don't ask, Lil Sis, confidential) and we started talking and I felt tons better! More later! Toodles.

State

Well, made it home fine; tired, but ready to go. Almost. It's the end of the school day and it's been rough. Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to sit down and cry for no apparent reason? It was one of those. But I held it together and I made it through and got all of my junk caught up on. Two lab reports due, as well as a missed calculus lesson, OAP drama (Lol. Ironic? I think so.), an English test that caught me unawares, and a quiz in foods just to name the highlights of my day. Austin wasn't worth this. Or maybe it was. I can't decide. We only won one of four rounds, but we had fun. Making it to State was the big achievement, so no hard feelings about not advancing past prelims. Shopping was pretty cool. I met this crazy lady in the dressing room at Dillard's who tried on dresses and had a series of mini fashion shows with me. Absolutely crazy, lemme tell ya. But she was funny, and I found this GORGEOUS dress! Blue, split outer skirt under a halter top piece, with a shawl. So pretty! Question, who is 6MIM? NO idea on that one. I have a feeling it has some connection with Porkchop, but I'm clue-less... Well, other than my stressful, almost catastrophic day, which, to be perfectly honest, don't happen often enough for me to know how to deal, nothin much is going on. My back hurts, but it's probably from riding backwards in the van for 6 hours yesterday. Well, glad to be home. Glad to be back online so I can talk to y'all! Love all of you! Toodles for now.

Poop

Painted my nails (French tips) and hung out with Brandy today. Supposed to get my car fixed. Yay! But the have to finish my bro's truck first. Ella Enchanted is coming on at 5:45, soI'll watch that. Haven't seenit yet. Have to go to state comp tomorrow. We leave at 11. Poop. I'm too tired to want to go, but I'm sure I'll enjoy myself once I get there. Scholarship junk has to be postmarked by Tuesday, so I'll have to scramble to get that done. Possibly on the trip up there in between reading my lit crit and english books and rewriting some poetry and sleeping. Chad, the host is up again and you should be able to post. Just in case you were wondering. Well, movie is coming on, so toodles. I'll probably post before I leave tomorrow. So, 'til then!

Bad News

I got an answer about SB. That's a negative, Ghost Rider. Sorry Porkchop. You know how bad I wanted to go. I cried when he told me. This sucks. But maybe I can have some "me" time.

THE question

Who am I? I am the president of the Spanish Honor Society, the Vice-Pres of Interact, a NHS member, a student council “volunteer,” the valedictorian of my graduating class, One-Act Play student director, a debater- state bound, by the way- and I’m always busy. But those are things I do. What is that? How do you answer that? I am the 17 year old daughter of (edited by author; hehe). I love to wash dishes. I love to cook. I love to mow grass because I like to see what I can accomplish (nothing on my own, of course, I know this). I love to paint. Not masterpieces, mind you, but just to cover walls and have lots of messy fun. I don’t like the way I look. I like people and talking. I love to shop and take baths and get massages and have my hair played with. I need to be needed, but there are some days when I don’t want to be needed at all. I get stressed when I’m rushed. I procrastinate. I’m college-bound and scared to death. I’ve never had a boyfriend and I don’t know who I love anymore. But my answer remains “wait.” I love the feel of the sun and a cool wind on a warm day. Green is my favorite color. I like to be held. I don’t like to be clung to. I love to surf the internet and read random blogs. I like to peer into people’s lives and make arbitrary comments. And some that are not so impulsive. I don’t like to do research papers and missing school makes my stomach churn. I’m scared that I’ll be left behind and not be able to catch back up. (Baseless fears, I realize, but existent nonetheless.) I hate lab write-ups and horrible lab partners. I want to get my hair cut. I want the Hobbit (my car) fixed. I miss my family- cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents- and I want a life but I don’t have time for a life! I want to meet people and make an impression, but there’s nobody in the world I care to make an impression on whom I either haven’t already or just don’t care about. The way I live, people get impressions of me from other people, so in a lot of cases I don’t actually make an impression, but rather verify or negate prior assumptions or notions about my personality and/or appearance. Who can really tell me who I am? I obviously can’t tell myself, so how can anybody tell? Who knows me better than me? I think I need a vacation from life. I need to take a soul-searching journey into the great known and come back with a new grasp on once-familiar (but now strangely alien) surroundings. Where am I? Who am I? Are you my mother? Lol. Random thought, sorry. But maybe I’m depressed or lonely or fried. SB is coming up soon. There’s still no answer from Dad. Sorry. I haven’t brought it up again. Maybe I can discover who I am after I find out who I see when I look in the mirror. I think I need some reference points. Any tips on soul-searching, relaxation, finding answers, or any random thoughts are welcome, despite what I told Chad about receiving comments from “observers.” I think now I might need one or two of those. Later all.

Ranting

Hey all. Only have a few minutes left before I have to go study for Physics, but I wanted to say thanks to Porkchop and Lil Sis for helping me out. (See previous post.) 120 students were missing during the peak hours between 12 and 3 today at our lovely high school. Between baseball, softball, track, tennis, FFA, and HOSA, we were practically alone in the hallways! It wasn't actually that bad, but it was nice not having the entire lunch room full. And the halls were semi-quiet, too. I've only finished 34 of the required 50 notecards for AP English, so got to get on the ball tomorrow if I want to save my skin. Stupid research papers... And there's a lab due tomorrow, Tuesday, and Wednesday, plus scholarship stuff that I need to fill out but can't without our counselor who has been suspiciously missing all week, and then there's state debate comp next Monday and Tuesday and I'm not even half-way prepared... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Did I spell that right?) I need a haircut and a good, old-fashioned shopping trip. Or maybe just a bubble bath, which I can't have because our tub is messed up. And a massage, and a boyfriend, and a nap, and dinner... And I thought I was low-maintenance. Guess not. Love y'all. Done ranting for now. Toodles!

The Woman in the Mirror

Hey all. Was thinking yesterday and I got worried all of the sudden when I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the person I saw there. I don't know who I am anymore. It's not that I don't like me or anything, but that I'm just too busy being busy to just be. Does that make sense? Dad assures me that I'm "a beautiful young woman," but I just can't see it. So, to bite off of Porkchop's blog, can y'all supply any memories, thoughts, comments, or encouragement? I know this is so much worse than fishing for compliments, but I think it might help. I was praying about it last night and I knew that I could ask the nothingness of Blogville and maybe find myself again. Thanks for your help. Toodles.

Just another Manic Monday

Hey all. Weekend's over. Sorry I didn't post, but I slept REALLY late Saturday and then we had company, then OAP practice. Sunday, church then SAT studying with Brandy then homework then church then sleep. Quesadillas give you bad dreams, btw. Even if they are just cheese. Not really bad, but a little strange. I dreamed about band and random people that I can't specifically remember. Tonight I have OAP, tutorials, and an Interact meeting. And Big Bro has the truck so Mom and I are stuck with the car, which has malfunctioning brakes. Poop. Well, hope y'all are having good days! Love every one of you! Read PFC Snuffy's blog! He's hilarious! PassTheBrass.com. His brother, Chad, created the site for him. His bro also has several other sites open and running including one he posts on about being engaged and buying a house and stuff. Follow the links on Pass The Brass. Toodles for now.

The Perks of Graduation

No college English today, so it's tutorials and I'm in the library. Got a pretty mundane and slightly irritating day ahead of me. Got off on a bit of a bad start because Mom was on my case about my driving. Whatever. I miss my friend! I still haven't heard from him. Porkchop, I saw where you called the other day, sorry I didn't call back. Gimme a ring if you want. I'll be home tonight and all morning at least on Saturday. Got OAP practice from 5 to 8 Saturday night, which is awesome because we've got a lot of work to do before contest in three weeks. Debate State Comp is coming up. Things are piling up higher and higher and it's beginning to bog me down. I can't wait until I graduate because I won't have all of this crap to deal with. I'll be able to relax at least for a little while and unwind as I get ready for college and "adult" life. But it's scary. I don't exactly want to leave this comfort zone I've established at school. But I'm not as scared as I was a few months ago. Maybe I've grown up. I have a feeling my Air Force "buddy" had a lot to do with it. I'm over him, btw, Porkchop. And yes, YOU can tell people what I'm talking about because I don't want to dwell on that subject any more. Though it was nice... Toodles.

$$$

Yesterday ended a bit crappily, but it was okay after I read my Bible and prayed. Today is good so far because I dropped Mom off at work and then went on to school. And I parked straight the first try! I haven't done that since the first day I drove by myself, so I'm excited. We made fruit salad in foods and got a new march to play in band. We're doing research papers in English and I have three more citations to do. After school I'm going to the State Farm Insurance office to give our "contact" a check for our Relay for Life team in hopes of getting a bracelet. Yay! Or possibly two... Kim is contributing to my blog as I write today, so any random comments are hers. She still wants to know how to dorve. Since apparently that's something I can do. Unfortunately, something I cannot do is type proficiently. Bummer. I have a tutorial after school with a fellow student then OAP practice. Money money money mo-ney. MO-ney! Hehe. $$$ I get paid for the tutorial and then again tomorrow for allowance. Cool beans. $ But I hope ya'll are all having good days. Pookie, is it any better? Porkchop, don't forget to give Lil Sis an answer. And Lil Sis, have a wonderful day! Love ya'll! Toodles!

Wed-nes-day

I get to drive the truck again today! Mom's on a holiday and I have percussion sectionals after school. Dee dee is looking at me weird... should I be scared? Tomorrow is OAP and tutorials with a classmate. Today is another good day so far, but not quite as good as yesterday because I didn't have the same great start, but that's ok. Yay for being alive!!! Hope ya'll are having good days and behaving! Lots of love and toodles for now!

Hmmm

Well, not much going on today except awesomeness! I'm having a really great day! I hope all of you are too! Love ya'll and talk to you later! Toodles!