Friday, November 20, 2009

I'm Just Sayin'.

"Pretty people marry pretty people. Ugly people marry ugly people. It's a rule." And so I became immortalized via twitter updates. Raleigh thought this was pretty funny and decided to quote me. But think about it. It's true! If you have no clue as to why, you fail on the CSI fan scale. If you know why, you've seen too much CSI for your own good and should stop thinking about committing "the perfect crime."

Essentially, it all boils down to the fact that people find themselves the most attractive ideal in their minds. Therefore, people marry people who look like them. Hence, if you're ugly, you marry someone else who is ugly. If you're pretty, you marry someone else who is pretty. Or you marry for money. Having money makes everyone pretty.

You can see evidence of this in those little old people who look alike. When they were younger and first got together, they were subconsciously attracted to each other because there are similarities in their features. As they aged, these similarities started to be more pronounced, so they look alike. An acquaintance once asked if I looked like my mom or my dad, and I said both. Now, this makes sense to me because I'm a combination of the two of them: I have Dad's eye shape, nose, and lip shape, but I have Mom's complexion, hair color, and influence on my eye color. However, some might argue that Mom and Dad look similar. I don't necessarily know about that, but I suppose it's possible.

These were my random thoughts this morning as I was getting ready for school. Today's my last day at Cracker Barrel, and I have five days left at the high school where I'm student teaching. I'm going to miss these kids.

There's a mouse in the theater. I'm trying to think of a name for him. Mother likes Maisy, my kids like Puck, and I've gotten votes for Seymour, Mr. Bojangles, Macbeth, and Despereaux. He's a cute little mouse. I think I'm leaning toward Puck, personally.

I suppose I should get back to work. Love and hugs!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Confusion

There's a lot going on right now in my crazy life.

First of all, I've accepted the job at the little school in southeast Texas, so I'll be moving back in with my parents at the beginning of December, which is exciting in a lot of ways. I'm nervous about the adjustment, but I'm also glad I get the chance to get closer to them.

I'll also be spending a lot of time at my uncle's lake house. It's about 30 minutes from the school where I'll be teaching. It should be a great way to relax, so I'm looking forward to that.

I had to talk to Steve about the whole move thing last night, so that resulted in a huge argument. I finally just told him that I need time to find myself and really find my direction, and I don't see us lasting forever. He got angry, and we both cried a little, but I think he'll get over it. I'm sure he will, actually. I just hope he can be happy for me and we can still be friends. He's a great friend, but I can't see myself married to him. After three years, he doesn't understand how I can just "drop" him in favor of moving home with my parents and taking a job so far away from him. I can't explain to him that I just need to be home for a while, and I need to find that stability again. Plus, I really think Mom and Dad are going to need me when Derek goes into the Army. To make it all so much harder, Steve bought an engagement ring and was planning on proposing. He told me last night, and then let me see it. It's pretty, and similar to what I would pick out for myself. He paid cash for it, apparently. He's been making plans, and completely oblivious to the fact that I wasn't happy and am not really happy with him. We had a great thing for a while, but it's coming to an end. I'm ready for it. I knew we weren't forever. He had no idea. I'm not ready to get married.

I told him, and it's true, that I may get home and realize that I made a terrible mistake and come running back to him, and that we may be meant to be together and I just don't know it yet. I don't want him to put his life on hold waiting for me. I'm not going to not have a life, that's for sure. I have every intention of going out and being a young, attractive adult for the first time in my life.

Ever since I've been old enough to legally go out and have a few drinks with friends and go to parties and live the crazy life, I've had a boyfriend. I've been with Steve since I was 19. Granted, he's changed me. I feel much more confident and attractive now than I ever thought I would. I'm comfortable in my own skin, and I have him to thank for that. Now, I want to be able to use what I've gained to have fun. I'm only 22. I want that before I settle down and have a family and can't be selfish anymore. I haven't really ever lived my life just for me. Is it wrong to say it's my turn now? Does that make me a terrible person?

I think Steve is still holding on because he sees the way he's changed since we started dating and he is grateful for that. I don't want to be in a relationship based on gratitude and guilt. It's not healthy. And it doesn't have the makings for a great forever. Does all of this make sense?

As far as I know, where we are now is technically still together, but we'll call it off when I move home. He's angry, and having a tough time dealing with it, and I'm very emotional and just want to sit and cry into my hot chocolate, but we should both be better in a few days. I guess we'll just have to see where this takes us.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Vent, Plus Good News!

Ok, so here’s my vent.

First, what the heck is going on with Obama? One minute he’s gung-ho for healthcare reform and the next he’s backing off, saying that we may not actually need complete healthcare reform, and that a partial reform may solve our problem. What kind of crap is that? Ok, let’s think about this. We are Americans. We are born and bred into a capitalist society, which is awesome because it ideally drives commerce and creates a booming economy as long as our jobs aren’t outsourced to foreign soil. Europe does BEAUTIFULLY with socialist healthcare and there’s a reason. People in Europe, generally speaking, are less greedy on a personal level than Americans. They work for the greater good of the country, versus the greater good of the family, which is what Americans are geared to work for. There’s no “community mindset” in the American mentality. We work to better our families and better the futures of our children, so we’re not okay with giving our hard-earned money to people who won’t get off their derrieres and work for a living. It’s aggravating. But it’s how we as a country think, which is why the healthcare reform won’t work and the legislature will not pass something so against our national code.

In addition to that particular issue, Obama also just sent money to Brazil to help develop their offshore drilling and boost their failing economy, but he won’t grow a pair in the USA and tell the environmentalists to kiss his butt and start drilling in Alaska in order to boost our economy. He’s spending OUR TAX DOLLARS to help out another country do something that WE CAN’T EVEN DO!!! That’s absolute crap!

Another vent that’s recently surfaced is not necessarily political. Why in the heck is Brett Favre still playing football?! He’s 39 YEARS OLD!!! And he’s getting TWENTY-FIVE MILLION DOLLARS FOR TWO YEARS! That’s a MILLION DOLLARS A MONTH!!! What IS that? Do you know what I could do with a million dollars a month? I could change the WHOLE WORLD!! The old fossil just needs to retire and leave the Vikings and the NFL in general alone.

John Madden retired. Sad day. I really enjoyed his commentary. Also, Kathy Griffin’s trying to get on Oprah’s show, so that should be interesting.

By the way, if you go to a restaurant and get seated, stop asking for a different table. Have you ever thought that there’s a reason I seat you there? That maybe we have a rotation of servers so nobody gets overwhelmed? THINK about it people!!

I do have some good news, though. I have an informal job interview at a small school about 30 minutes from my parents on September 1st. I graduate in December with my degree in Theater and teacher certification in both English and Theater. The position I’m applying for will be open in December, and it will be teaching middle school English and high school One Act Play. I’m EXTREMELY excited about the position, especially since it’s a tiny little school and my average class size is 10 students. I think I would do really well with sixth, seventh, and eighth graders, and I know high school One Act Play would be a lot of fun, too. Wish me luck! If I get this job, it will be an answer to many prayers.

I hope things are going wonderfully for all of you, and I’ll talk to you later! Toodles!

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Bootstrap's Bootstraps

I have a day off. My second in a row, actually. I'm just sitting at home, watching movies, hanging out with the dogs and cats, playing on the internet. My attention span's a little short, but I guess I can be distractable on my day off. We saw Transformers 2 yesterday. It was pretty good, but honestly the same as the first one, just bigger. Ya know, more robots, more Megan Fox, more explosions, more huge robot battles. It was worth the $5 per person. Tonight, we're pulling a double movie night, with Up and Hangover. I'm excited to see Up, and Hangover's supposed to be funny, so it'll be a good way to end my "weekend". I only get a certain number of days off per week, and they haven't been consecutive in a really long time. All in all, things in my life are alright. A little strained for cash, a little tired, a little overworked, but it's all good in the long run. I'm ready for something to happen, but I don't want to take any time off from work... Go figure. I love my job, and I'm dreading JP's leaving, but the inevitable must happen, I suppose. Anywho, that's all I have for now. I'm posting a picture of me holding Puma with Maverick in the background, since I said I'd post a picture of my favorite little kitty. :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

uh...

Hello dear ones. Life is relatively great on my end of the world. I got decent grades this past semester, and I am finally beginning the vacation I've been needing so desperately. I love my job still, and working at Cracker Barrel is just as rewarding and fun as it was over a year ago when I started. I'm still dating Steve, and we're happy. He's a sweet guy, really, and he takes care of me. I haven't missed a car payment or even been late, and things are still running smoothly with my little white Cobalt. Puma is still the most amazing cat in the world, Peanut and Rose are growing on me, and being close to friends is incredibly excellent. Some drama has been happening at a bar I frequent, but that's nothing new. Steve no longer works there, which is new, but not unexpected, given the aforementioned drama. I can't think of any significant details to provide that would make much sense, and I'm a little scatterbrained at the moment, so I'll supply more information later. For now, suffice to say that things are fine and I'm doing well. I'll have to tell y'all about the Special Olympics and my plan with Mother to go to Galveston for a few days this summer, as well as a briefing on the drama at the bar and the developments at work. Love and hugs! I now go to prepare for the Barrel once again. Hi-ho, hi-ho...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

B&N

So, I'm sitting in Barnes & Noble in Beaumont, playing on the computer. I had to purchase Wi-Fi access, but I guess it wasn't terribly expensive, so it's alright. I think I'm about to get a drink from Starbucks and head back home. I'm having a pretty decent vacation, not doing a whole lot and enjoying it. I've slept in two days in a row, and I go back to Huntsville tomorrow. I have a lunch date with friends tomorrow, and then a gym date with Courtney some time this week. I have some homework to do, but I'm not terribly concerned about it all.

I just talked to JP via Yahoo Messenger and he said he was enjoying his vacation, but his cable is out and he has nothing to do. Don't you just hate that?

I have a Lighting Design project to do, an art project to officially get started on, and a musical scene to choose. I think either Oklahoma! or West Side Story. I haven't decided for sure yet.

I'm a little vaguely up in the air right now, so I'll head out, not having anything specifically concerete to say. Thanks for listening, though! Love and hugs!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Next Chapter

Right now, I currently feel intoxicated. I can honestly promise that I have consumed no alcohol in over a week, at the least. I guess it's a combination of my equilibrium being slightly off and my sinuses still being clogged. I've been slightly deathly ill lately, by the way. On and off fever, hacking cough, draining sinuses, fatigue, body aches, and general exhaustion. I've been sleeping for hours on end every day, and I'm finally getting better. I'm actually sitting in class today! Yay! This has been a rather sickly semester for me thus far. First a little cold, then a nasty stomach bug that made me want to die, and then this really horrible, yucky "crud" that's been plaguing me for the past week. Hopefully it'll all go away and I can go another few years without getting severely sick again.

My scene went up yesterday. I got hit pretty hard, and I cried, but I'll tough it out and move on. I guess you live and learn. I could make excuses about my main character dropping out less than a week before the performance, my severe illness, the lack of time and rehearsal, and the lack of available rehearsal space, but I refuse to make unnecessary excuses for my lack of proper scene choice. Maybe it's a pride thing.

I have a project due on Friday that should be relatively simple to make and complete, but I have to sit down and do it. I have a show to see tonight. Angels In America opens tonight, and I'm looking forward to seeing it. Since my directing scene's finished, I have to begin research on my musical scene as soon as possible. Things are slowing down a little, so I think I'll make it.

Still giving myself the B-12 shots, and still doing just fine with them, though no major changes yet. I need to put together a to-do list and a grocery list for Wal-Mart. I need shampoo. I need to do laundry, too. Always something to do. But that's life. Not in my normal peppy mood today, sorry. Just dealing as I can.

JP's birthday was Sunday. I gave him a card and a little fuzzy yellow duck that went with the theme of the card. It was kind of funny because I borrowed his keys to put his card and duck in his car in order to avoid embarassment and gossip, and he asked me to take his balloon and gifts to the car. His mother and sisters had been by earlier that day and brought gifts and the balloon. It was such a comfortable, normal thing to do. It felt like Jarrod and me all over again, with the familiarity and the comfort and the predictability. Another interesting discovery was one I think I've made before, and that is that he doesn't ever ask me to do anything as far as work goes. I was working with Heather on Sunday and he asked her to spot sweep when we were both standing there, and then told her to go light the lanterns on the tables, rather than me. I didn't mind, but I found it a little odd. To top it off, I was sweeping under a big table so we could seat people there again and he touched me on the elbow and told me the busser could do it. I don't know why he does that, but it may be because he knows that I'm willing to do anything he needs done, both for work and on a slightly personal level. (Think shopping for his mom's Mother's Day gift when given a spending limit within the store, or taking his birthday presents to his car, or getting him medicine for his migraines.)

Ok, class is over, so I'm off. Love and hugs, as always.

Monday, February 09, 2009

The Bomb-Diggity

Well, it's done. The big test that required my presence at work is complete. I have no idea how we fared as a whole, but I was complimented by our district manager on my hard work, so I guess that's good. Apparently I'm the bomb-diggity. Quite an accomplishment, huh? We had to prove our ability to the "big bosses" this past weekend, and my general manager specifically scheduled me on the day I requested off just so he could ensure that we were doing our very best by having the very best. The "A" team, so to speak. Like I said, I don't know if our endeavors were successful. I'll find out when I call and talk to Kevin (the GM) today or tomorrow about my schedule on Saturday.

I went to a baby shower last night, an that was fun. I found some really adorable things for the baby, so I was proud of myself. And then Steve and I had an argument because he randomly thought I was off work on Valentine's Day. Um... not so much. The thing is, everybody wants that day off, so JP (now in charge of schedules) isn't letting anybody off of work based solely upon requests. Not that I even requested it off. I did ask to work the morning, though, and I'll call in a favor to Kevin to see if I can get things worked out. Steve got the day off and wants to make a big deal of it, but I just want him to stop spending money on me. He's blowing hundreds of dollars (I assume) on gifts for me that I absolutely don't need. I wish he'd save his money. A friend of ours had the idea that from now on, when Steve wants to buy me something that isn't necessary, he can put the money in a savings account and use it when we want to take a vacation somewhere. I think that's a fantastic idea.

My father and I were debating the grammatical correctness of the phrase, "I can so." I responded to the accusation of not being able to talk without using my hands with the above phrase, and my father decided it was not, in fact, grammatically correct. Thoughts? Opinions? Arguments?

I hate having homework. I also hate being tired for no reason. I got plenty of sleep last night, but I'm still tired. No idea why. And now I'm hungry. Poo.

Anywho, I'm out. Time to actually pay attention in class. Lighting design. Woo hoo. Love and hugs!

UPDATE: We were awarded a certificate of mastery!!! Wooo hoo!!! Go us! And I'm working Saturday morning, leaving the evening free for time with Steve on Valentine's Day. A little perturbed about my actress not being able to hold up her end of the bargain and actually toughing it out and NOT COMPLAINING!!! She whines a lot. But she's old, and is apparently under the impression that she's the only one with a full plate. I'm calling a big, resounding BS on that one. But it'll be ok.

I hope.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

And... I'm back!

I gave myself a shot of B-12 this morning. It's prescribed by the doctor. My levels are supposed to be around 1100, but the tests showed mine to be around 270. Not so great. So, I have to give myself a shot once a week for four weeks, then once every other week for four shots, and then once a month until the rest of the shots run out. That should last a couple years. It's supposed to give me more energy and make me more able to process carbs and create new proteins. Yay for that. I'm still tired, though. And now my leg hurts. :( The funny part is, I psyched myself out last night about this stupid shot and had a really rough night last night. This morning, I get up, get the shot ready, and just do, and then laugh at myself because it was really easy and relatively painless. Just like it was somebody else giving the shot. Go figure.

Other than that, I'm going 90 miles an hour down life's highway with school, tons of homework, and an almost-full-time job, so there's probably a reason my B-12 is so low. Apparently your body uses more under stress and when you get busy with a million things on your plate. Go figure.

In other news, Steve and I are back together. I don't know how long it will last, but I'm comfortable with him. As I told a friend, he may or may not be Mr. Right, but he's Mr. Right Now, and I can handle that. I don't particularly care for being single. The whole idea scares me a little. If Hawaii is in the future, I might change my mind, but I have a year to decide.

I'm going to Germany next month! Woo!!! I'm actually incredibly excited about that. It's a great opportunity and I know I'll have a blast.

Sorry this is so short, but I have an art assignment due tomorrow that will take about 20 minutes, a play to read (about an hour), a lighting design assignment to finish (about an hour), and possibly a nap to take (20 minutes or two hours...) all before bed tonight. It's going to be a long day, so I'll have to remember to grab food before I really get involved in homework. That whole remembering to eat thing is sometimes pretty difficult.

Hope things are going well for everybody! Love and hugs!