December 2006

Wow. It's been a long while, hasn't it? Things are still fabulous. I went through one of the most stressful weeks of my life trying to get some costumes finished, but they're all done now. Just some minor repairs before I hand them over for good. And I'll get paid soon, too. That'll buy the rest of my Christmas gifts. Something for Mom, Derek, and Dad, and something for Steve. I know what I'm getting for all of them.

Can you believe Christmas is two weeks away?! It snuck up on me. I have two finals, and then I'm checking out of my dorm so I can head home for the break after a few hours with Steve. He's fine, by the way. Still just as wonderful as ever. Still no fights (knock on wood), no problems, so we're doing really well. He hasn't told me he loves me yet, and I don't mind in the least. I think it's best to take this slow.

Other than being incredibly preoccupied by my wonderfully amazing boyfriend, I'm wrapping up classes, getting things packed, and getting ready to move downstairs for the RA position. Yay! For those of you who don't know, I did, in fact, get the RA position at Spivey, my current house for the Spring semester. If I can, I hope to stay here in this position until I graduate. That would be incredibly awesome!

Patti wants me to stay on at the costume shop, just to be on-call when they need me. I, of course, agreed. I love the shop, and I would've missed it terribly.

I've been writing Ryan regularly, and he's fine. We're talking about relationships and odd things in life, as usual, so I'm enjoying it. I think he knows more about me than some of my closest, dearest friends. Wait, he IS one of my closest, dearest friends! I need to talk to Alex, though. She doesn't know I have a boyfriend. And I have her Christmas gift to deliver.

Anyway, I need to grab some grub and finish all of this sewing, so I'm off. I love all of you very much! Have a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year!!!

Yay!!!

So, I suppose everyone would just looove to hear my news, right? Heh. I have a boyfriend! Yay!!! Finally, I know. His name is Steve, he's 22, he lives here in Huntsvegas, he's incredibly sweet, a gentleman, funny, kind, and an all-around wonderfully amazing guy. He respects me and likes me and pampers me (woohoo!), and he loves to make me smile. He posted a blog on his MySpace profile that said I am the "best person in the world." And he's equally great. He makes me happy. I feel safe and comfortable and just plain right when I'm with him. I don't have to worry about him taking advantage of me or pushing too far, and we have a mutual friend who just can't get over the fact that he liked me from the start. He says I'm amazing, and we have a million little things in common. Well, big things, too. Things like eggnog, strawberries, vanilla, pizza, movies, music, children, relationships... The list goes on. He's Steve, and I'm so glad we're together! We'll see how things progress, but I anticipate a happy and quite possibly lengthy relationship.

And for those of you who are wondering about Ryan, we still email, we still talk (no, he doesn't know about Steve), but we're friends. Until he indicates that he's interested in anything more than that, we're going to leave things as they are. I refuse to complicate issues that should really be so simple.

Oh, and Mom, thanks so very much for doing my laundry!!! I love you! And I love you, too, Daddy! I know you'll like Steve. *They're going to meet him on the night of the play. If you want to know more, email me, message me, or leave a comment and I'll get back to you. Lots of love! Mwah!

Such a Lov-ely Day

Well, hasn't it been FOREVER?! I know y'all have all missed me soo much, so I figured I'd just drop on in and let y'all know what's going on my little life. First off, I got cast in a play. It's called Playhouse Creatures, set in the Restoration period. I'm an old woman, one of five women in the play. This will be my very first performance on stage, so I'm really looking forward to it. I'll get to use a British accent! We go up on November the 16th.

I'm still the house mother, and I'm the leader of our Astronomy study group for my class. That's always interesting. I love working with some of the kids, but others really get on my nerves. We're meeting tonight. Did everyone remember to change their clocks back?

I've been emailing and IMing people left and right. Yay!

I chaperoned a high school dance last night. It made me feel really really old. :(

We finally finished the costumes for 12th Night! Yay! We were all really worried about that. That's a huge burden off my shoulders. Kris had to help me finish the dress I was working on, but we finished. I was very proud of myself, especially since I did a lot of the work (most, in fact) by myself.

I went to a classic car show yesterday, too. Devin, the guy who I went to support, got an award! Yay! He restored a 1969 Mustang. It's gorgeous! Bright red. He's going to give me a ride when it's registered and legal and all that. He won "The Car We'd Most Like to Steal" award. Hehe.

Other than that, I went to a Scholarship Luncheon on Friday and had a wonderful time speaking with Dr. Cording and Mr. DeCastro, as well as Mrs. Cording and the other scholarship recipients. Intelligent conversation of that caliber was stimulating and oh-so-interesting.

Well, ladies and gents, I'm off. I have some lines to memorize. Later, taters! Mwah!

I like...

Getting dressed up all pretty, singing in the shower, drinking coffee, IMing people, hearing from old friends, being sent back to bed :p, people telling me I look beautiful, having plans, being able to drive, have friends, making music, playing music, singing in my room, playing with my hair, doing my make-up, and not having plans. Contradictory, no? Allow me to explain. I have Gala this afternoon from 430 to 745, then a concert in which a housemate is playing and some others are singing. That should be over around 930. After that, though, I have no plans, unless you count chilling out and watching a movie counts as "plans". That's incredibly tentative. Today's been a very relaxed day. But things will pick up shortly. I have to do some minor adjustments on my hair, get dressed, and go get in the Hobbit and drive to the theatre. (The Hobbit is my car, for those of you who missed that particular tidbit.) Then to the concert for Mario, Tara, and Bethany, then back here for a change and a movie. Then sleep! I don't really have any homework, but I have some sewing projects, so that's what I'll do after church tomorrow. Oh, and I like diamonds. And nail polish. And high-heels. And rings. Actually, all jewelry. And shoes. And horses. And pie... Hehe. Ok, I'm off. Hair repair! Love y'all! Oh, and very awesome music!!!

Big Brother...

So, it's October!!! Yay!!! Happy belated birthday to my brother (not like he ever reads this). He's 21. Getting old. I'm very proud of him. He's my big bubba, for cryin' out loud. I love him ever so much. I don't tell him nearly enough. But he's so awesome. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's one of my closest friends, though we don't really talk all that much, and I trust him with everything. He's a gentleman, and friendly, great with people of all ages, a genuinely wonderful person. I miss him when I'm at school. That's one of the reasons I'm so glad for cell phones. I can call him for free and talk to him whenever he's not busy or I'm not busy, and we don't have to say much. We have that sibling connection. I just talked to him, actually. He's driving the limos today. Both of them. The H2 this afternoon and the Chrysler this evening. Which is so incredibly awesome. I know when you think "limo driver" you don't normally think "so cool", but with Derek, it most definitely is. And he's a very well-rounded person, so he likes a lot of the same stuff as me, despite the fact that I'm the "nerd" and like odd things. And he's very entertaining, with just enough silly boyishness to keep everybody laughing. I'm the ultimate defender of his honor and reputation, though the battles for him are few and far between. Anyway, I was feelin' the love this morning, so I thought I'd post. I'm still alive. And staying here this weekend. My uncle's wedding is next weekend, so I'll go home then. I'll have to buy gas, and I still haven't gotten my paycheck, so maybe I'll be better off next week. Well, I'm talking to Ryan and Mark, so I'm off! Love y'all!

So, it Tuesday. It's been a week and a few days since my last post, and things are wonderful!!! I feel much better, and am well over the cold I had. I talked to Mom today (well, listened to her talk, mostly, but I loved it just the same) about life and such. She's fine. She's getting better, too. She was sick last week and over the weekend. Derek called me, too. I think the only person I haven't talked to is Dad... I tried to call, but no answer. (Update: he called me back.)

Mark requested that I update, so I am. :p

For those of you who don't know, I have a friend in the Army named Ryan. He's the older brother of a dear friend. And he's already become a very dear friend himself. Anyway, he's stationed temporarily where he can access MSN, so we talk almost every day in IM. It's quite wonderful. And because we have so much in common, we never run out of things to say! Lol. Go figure. He makes me happy. From what I can tell, he likes talking to me, too. So I'm very happy right now. He'd better be in bed right now. It's still early in the morning where he's at. I'll be in bed before too long. Homework first, then bed.

Oh, I have a new Avon lady. It's my suitemate, actually. She's very sweet, and she feeds me, which is always good. Ya know, everyone feeds me. It's like they like for me to taste their creations or something. But I don't mind at all. ;)

I'm having to work later this week, but it's not as bad as we first thought, so that's good. I can actually still have a life.

Well, there's the latest. I'm happy, very busy, and planning a ton of little projects. We'll see how they go! I'm off! Love y'all!

Blast from the Past

Ok, so it's Sunday, and I know I should be in church right now, but I'm still not over this blasted cold/illness that's had me down for the past few days. So I'm being courteous and not spreading my germs to a hundred innocent people. Besides, I'm not feeling so hot, just felt I needed to report this.

I get a phone call around 10 this morning from an old friend from high school. His name's Joe, and my parents never really approved of him, but I think he's pretty cool. Anyway, he just came across my number, apparently, and decided to call me up. We talked, caught up on life and whatnot, and then said goodbye after about a 30 minute conversation. It's the weekend--my minutes are unlimited. Come to find out, he has a Cingular cell phone, which is what I have, so I told him to give me a call whenever since it's free and all. So I expect to hear from pretty often now. We'll see.

I went to the animal shelter yesterday for community service (I wasn't going to go because I'm sick, but I was feeling really good yesterday morning) and fell in love with all of the animals there! Some of them are SO ADORABLE!!! I would've gone broke for sure if we were allowed pets in the dorm. I found about 4 I would've loved to have. 2 dogs and 2 cats.

At one point in the day, I slipped and fell on the wet concrete. I was wearing flip-flops, and it was my own carelessness, really, so it's no big deal. But I think I hit the fence with my toe, because there's a bruise and a little hole on my big toe, left foot. I boiled it out with peroxide (no white bubbles showed up), cleaned it with alcohol, and put neosporin on it with a band aid. That stayed on until I went to bed, and now it doesn't hurt at all. The bruise hasn't gotten any bigger, and there's no swelling, inflammation, or redness (other than the bruise, which is a pinkish color, rather than purple or blue, which should show up in a couple of days), so I'm fine. It was just unexpected.

Alright, back to bed for this one. I'll talk to y'all soon! Oh, please send up a special prayer for Ryan. He was supposed to email me back yesterday and I still haven't heard from him. I'm a little worried, but no news is good news, I guess. Love y'all!

[Today's Date Here]

Sooo... I have a ton of stuff to talk about, but no inclination to type it all out. Suffice to say that everything is fine, I'm a little mixed up about some stuff going on in my head, and I'm extremely busy. I have a job that I love at the costume shop in the theatre, I have awesome friends, I love my life as it is right now (except for a few miniscule things), and everything not going my way is gravy.

I talked to Drew today. Nothing new, nothing particularly interesting, just wanted to make sure he was still ok.

I got an email from Ryan the other day. He's fine, but had a close call a few days back.

Those are pretty much the only notable things...

Oh, last Saturday I got to climb to the very top of a huge stack of hay! That was pretty awesome.

And the Saturday before that I fell off of a horse. That makes for a very interesting story, but it's much better in person, so I'll tell everyone when they come and see me. :p

We also went on a mission trip to downtown Houston. That was a blessing, and very full of little miracles. Good stuff.

Let's see... I got a refund from the university. That was pretty cool. We had a study group today for Astronomy, and I felt like a teacher, but not on any sort of upper level. They had a hard time grasping concepts. Thankfully, I reinforced my own knowledge by teaching them. I only wish I had a source to back me up. I get unsure of myself occasionally and it's hard to teach with confidence when I don't know that I'm absolutely right.

My hands smell like spaghetti.

That is all.

Channel 13

Hello all! As per my father's request, I am posting! Woo!

Here's the latest from PAM Channel 13 College News. I've officially started class, and I'm going to really love all of them. My math class is going to be incredibly slow, but fun anyway, my astronomy class is interesting if for no other reason than the planets are being reclassified, my acting class promises to be rather challenging, production will be entertaining, and computer science will be a breeze. I start labs on Monday. That'll be cool because the TA is a guy who lives in the dorm. Work is pretty fun, and it's going to be very busy. We have quite a few shows going up this semester. I might post a schedule at a later date.

The weekend is finally here! This first week was exhausting. But I'm having a blast. I'm not worried about being an RA so much anymore because Spivey promises to be very fun. "My guys" keep me entertained, safe, happy, and comfortable. The group is an amoeba, and I'm not the only girl most of the time. It's never really a constant, either. It's a lot of fun.

I have an especially close friend named Devin who lives down the hall. He has a girlfriend, so it's nothing like that, but we talk about EVERYTHING. He's a great friend, and we have about a zillion things to keep us conversationally occupied. He also likes to pick me up and carry me. He's even sweet enough to let me steal his super-comfy slippers when my feet are cold! Hehe. He's quickly becoming close. He's supportive and thinks my odd quirks are funny, so we keep each other entertained. Hayleigh, his girlfriend, knows about me, though I don't know how much he actually says about me. She's very cute and, as far as I can tell, a wonderfully sweet person. He's happy with her, and thinks he'll marry her. Too bad there aren't two Devins in my world.

Other than that, Ryan's been terribly busy, so I haven't been hearing from him as much. He's supposed to get a few days off soon, so he'll be able to write and talk to me and stuff. Can't wait! I miss our conversations.

I saw "Grand Canyon" tonight at the theatre. It was written by one of our students here, and it's actually really good. I was impressed.

Today was a bad day. I didn't get much sleep last night for various reasons, one of which being I had unfinished homework, I had to work up at 7 to get ready to get boxes from Wal-Mart for the costume shop to finish packing up things, I had class from 9-12, then took a very short nap, had some lunch, and went to work, went to a meeting at 5:15 (right after work), went to take care of some things with Luker, then went to the play. I got home and saw that my blog window was still open and decided to finish this post...which I've been working on for about 2 days now.

Things are better, though. I'm hanging out with DJ tomorrow, and then there's an honors party Sunday night, so that should be fun. I'm seriously looking forward to a good night's sleep. I haven't had one of those in a very loooong time...

G'night.

Oh, yeah, there was a really cute guy sitting on a bench on campus today in a cowboy hat... Pretty blue eyes, tall, slim, adorable. I am such a lost cause.

Choice

Images behind my eyes
Scenes I can't erase
Life past and present
Hope for the future
Chaos or bliss
The choice is mine
No turning back
I can't forget the sight
That burning memory

Peace meets war
On a field too large
The battle begins
There is no way out
We must choose
What all have faced
Loyalty or love
Both is not an option
Or is it?

I would never take him
He is yours first
A brother, but more
I fall forever
You only adjust
I know I can never
Choose

Jealousy
Jealously
We pull
We fight
Battle with those
Dark caves of
Forbidden dreams
Lost in the night

Up

Well, I was right! Today is indeed better! I got an email this morning from my "missing" buddy. As it turns out, we were suffering some technical difficulties. Hopefully they're all resolved now. Woohoo! In other news, I have a splinter. And some chores left to do. Including cleaning my room... Never good. If I'm not back soon, somebody come dig me out.

One of those days

Do you know what’s aggravating? My parents. I have to be so careful not to argue with Dad because Mom freaks out, and I have to be careful not to argue with Mom because it makes Dad irritable. It’s so frustrating! I can’t express any opinion, even a valid one, in a discussion, because they don’t see me as a competent adult. To them, I’m a child. Irresponsible, naïve, ignorant, and incapable of logical thought. They have no idea what goes on in my head. Mom thinks she knows everything I’m thinking because apparently my face always tells her I hate her or some similar hogwash, and Dad doesn’t know how to compromise or have a discussion if I’m against his opinion. He turns it into this sit-there-and-yell-at-Pam crap that I get so tired of. And yes, I know they read this. And I’ll probably get in trouble, but this has been building up for a while, and I’m sure it will blow over. Everything else does. I only have 15 days left here. I’m 19 years old. They could let me grow up some. That’s why I’ll be so glad to go back to school. I’ll be away from their oppressive stunting. Don’t get me wrong, they’re wonderful parents and did a fantastic job raising us, but they can’t let go. Grandpa and I had that discussion the other day. He says they don’t know how yet. He had to learn as a parent and finds it’s much easier as a grandparent. He’s great at listening and being supportive, and, though he’s not Mema, he’s wonderful.

I miss her. So much. I need her to talk to, to tell me everything will work out and it’s ok to cry. To help me grow up and help my parents let me grow up. I’m finally crying for her. Oh, how I miss her. Who do I turn to now? Someone who won’t judge, who loves me unconditionally, with a woman’s point of view and that wisdom that comes with experience. Someone to just talk to. Where can somebody find a friend like that?

Ryan’s kind of like that—an older, wiser friend who listens and talks, but Ryan hasn’t written in about a week. I have no idea why. He writes to his sister, and he may just be demonstrating to her that she is more important to him than I am, which is fine, especially since I’ve been worried about her being jealous or not being able to accept our friendship. I just miss our conversations. I miss him. I can’t talk to him about some things, obviously, but I’ve found a kindred spirit in him. Someone I don’t have to teach and lead and be an example for. I don’t think I have very many friends like that. Not that I’m so close to, anyway.

The good news for the day is that I fit in my “skinny” jeans.

Today is one of those days. Nothing is quite as sunny as you woke up hoping it would be. Maybe tomorrow will be better. It can only go up from here.

Yeah, I know, it's been a while.

Hey guys! I know it's been a while, as usual, but here we are, once again. I love my job! It's lots of fun and, while it can be frustrating, I make awesome tips.

I have an email buddy in the Army. He's stationed in Afghanistan. We exchange messages about once a day and talk about everything from physics to the weather. He's a lot of fun. He's a friend's older brother. Very cool, 25, named Ryan. Anyway, that keeps me busy nowadays.

It's hot in Texas, y'all. And humid. Pity us who work outside.

I'm really all empty on news, so I'll close by saying I hope y'all are having great summers and I'll talk to ya soon!

Very fluffy cats.

Job!!!

I got a job!!! At Sonic! The manager, named Pam, called me this morning and asked if I still was interested, so I said yes and she said I start today at 3! Woohoo! Wish me luck!

It's Independence Day!

Well, happy Independence Day! It always strikes me as sad when this day rolls around and we still have men and women fighting for that same freedom we declared so many years ago. Seems like an injustice of sorts. I guess that's the way life is. Always striving to hold on to what we've got and somehow get more, too. Special prayers are going up for all of our folks overseas, and I sure hope they feel 'em. Hope everybody gets the chance to pop a few fireworks, eat something off the grill, get nice and messy from watermelon seed-spittin' contests, and see family and friends all smiles today. Love and hugs!

M&D

Hey! Special congrats go out to Mom and Dad on this their 22nd anniversary! Whoa! 22 years! Hope y'all have fun going out tonight! They have plans to go eat dinner this evening, so that should be good for them. As for me, I have plans to do... well, I'm scraping the house so I can paint it, and just kind of hanging out at the house. I'm applying for a job at Sonic soon, so hopefully that'll work out. Other than that, I've got thoughts like crazy, but there's no way I'm ready to tell Y'ALL about them :p so chill out. Hope everybody had a great week!

Wal-Mart

Ok, so we went to Wal-Mart to get toilet paper and some ice cream this evening, and, as we were walking down the aisle, a skinny black man stopped me and asked my name. I told him, "Pam" and kept walking. No biggie. I figured he was kinda off. He then proceeded to follow me down the aisle and told me he had never seen a white girl built quite like me. I understood what he meant, as that's not the first time someone has made a comment on my "ghetto booty," but it was rather unexpected. We laughed and kept walking while his coworker told him to behave himself and get back to his register. This was at the back of the store. As we were checking out, back at the front, he not only noticed me again, but pointed me out to several customers! I was almost embarrassed, but one of the guys standing there while he made whatever comments gave me a look that said he understood and not to worry about it. So, that's my oh-so-interesting Wal-Mart story. Great to be back n Huntsville, huh? :p

In Response

Well, first off, thanks for your prayers. I should've updated this last week, but things have been hectic. Mema passed away Sunday, June 4th at 7:20 PM. She's now in a much better place, and, while we'll miss her, we're happy for her at the same time. We're all doing alright. The funeral was very... interesting. There were a few glitches in the music, but we all know Mema would've been cracking up, so we didn't really mind. We had a ton of family down, and some even stayed for a few days to keep Grandpa company, so that was a blessing. I finally got a chance to get to know my cousins. And an aunt. So that was great. Unfortunate circumstances, but I'll take what I can get. I'm going to miss her very much, especially since she knew all of my secrets and gave awesome advice, but she won the race and beat us all to heaven, so I'll see her again.

We had Vacation Bible School last week, so I was very busy and rather tired. I spent every evening with my family and then got up early to teach Pre-K from 8:45-12:30. It was tons of fun, but I'm glad it's all over. I'm tired, and I really want a vacation. A real one, with a change of scenery and friends and the open road and all that. Unfortunately I don't see that happening. Ever. This promises to be a very long and boring summer. Oh well. I'll make do somehow.

Thanks for your prayers, and I hope you're all doing well! Chad, I think the movie has enough action to keep your interest, so give it a shot. Or just let Carrie get her girls together and have a movie night. Be sure to supply lots of Kleenex!

Prayers

Hey guys. Once again I have a very serious prayer request. My Mema. She's not doing well. We have family down from Illinois, and our whole little group here. Her brother, her sister, her husband, all three of her children, and 4 of her 7 grandchildren. She took a turn the other day we thought might be her last. As of right now, she's looking a little better than she has since yesterday morning, but it's an hour by hour thing. We're all just waiting. That's all we can do. But the point of this is to request prayer. We'd love for her to get better and stick around for a while, but we don't want her to suffer. It's a hard thing to realize, and it's a hard thing to watch. My grandmother. Dad's mom. Your thoughts and prayers would be appreciated. Thanks y'all. Love and hugs.

Tristan + Isolde Quotes

My face in thine eyes,
Thine in mine appears.
And true plain hearts
Do in the faces rest.
Where can we find
Two better hemispheres,
Without sharp north,
Without declining west.
Whatever dies was not mixed equally.
If our two loves be one,
And thou and I love so alike
That none can slacken,
None can die.
Excerpt from "The Good Morrow" by John Donne
~ Isolde, reading to Tristan

I don’t know if life is greater than death, but love was more than either.~Tristan’s dying words

And the Doctor Says:

I'm fix-able! Woohoo! I went to the doctor yesterday, and I'll spare you the details, but he prescribed some things and I'm on my way to being normal! I was very impressed with the doctor and his nursing staff. His name is Dr. Mangal, out of Houston. Doris was the nurse we dealt with, and she was very kind and knowledgeable. Dr. Mangal was not only personable and intelligent, he related everything that was going on in my body to things we could understand and explained the entire process step-by-step. I now know what I need to know and what I need to do to fix it, so yay!

I don't have to work this week until Friday, so I'm going to enjoy my time off and hopefully do something productive. Like what, I have no idea, but something.

Anyway, thought I'd share that wonderful news. Have a great week, y'all!

Happiness...

Well, I'm on about, oh, cloud 24 or so. I got all A's!!!!!!!! Yay!!! And I got a job at the flower shop in town working with my best friend and her grandparents, so I'm good! Now I have to organize my room, get ready for VBS, and catch up on my pleasure reading, but that's it for summer plans. Oh, and learn how to wakeboard. But awesome, right? :D Love y'all! Have a great week!

So, ok...

That is how I usually begin my conversations with my suitemate. "So, ok..." followed by either a random comment or something that happened over the course of the day or a question. We just have a connection. Occasionally she'll have something in her mouth and say something and I'll understand her. I used to be able to do that with my brother, though I don't know if I can anymore. I know her comments and have stolen more than a few. And she's stolen some of mine, too. I'm going to miss her.

My roommate stayed up last night packing her stuff. Amazingly, I went to sleep around 2 this morning with a radio and the light on. That never happens. Ever. I woke up at 7 and got ready to take a final that I'm fairly confident about. Now I have one last final (my final final... hehe) at 2 this afternoon. I have to perform 2 monologues. I have one mostly memorized, but I still have to work on the other one. I should be finished way before class starts, so it's all gravy.

I'm going to miss school. The freedom. My friends. The stuff I get to see and do every day. The food variety. But home isn't so bad. I have friends there, too, and hopefully a job, and no roommate, and a wonderfully big, soft bed, and the safety and security of home. It will hopefully be a peaceful summer.

It's rather sad, all of this packing and moving. And I'm not just talking about the sad state my car is in, filled to the brim with my belongings. The whole leaving process is sad. And my bare walls, empty shelves and closets and drawers, and the huge bags of trash leaving our room regularly. My computer in the corner with no speakers... I'm seriously going to miss 24-hour internet access and unlimited computer time. Like whoa.

My task for the summer is to go through my school stuff and take out everything that I didn't use. I'm going to go through my things in my room and throw loooots of stuff away, too, so I'll have a clean and organized room and about half of the bulk to bring back with me. Sounds like a plan, right? Now to actually do it. Well, I have the summer! And maybe it'll be a vacation... I feel like I actually need a vacation from things at this point. I've never really needed it before. I guess whoever designed the school-year was pretty smart. :p Ok, back to memorizing. Love ya! Mwah!

Ok, Ok, here it is...

I think I've gone retarded. Why, you ask? I'm a girl. Hehe. I've been painting my nails all sorts of colors, and they are, in fact, wet right now. And it's working, except when I hit my right thumb against my left thumbnail. It's just my left hand. I'm doing French tips. Despite past and current animosity toward the French. :p But I'm enjoying it, strangely enough. Go figure.

Mark requested that I update as I've been promising to do since my birthday, and, since today is a beautifully lazy day, and my nails are too wet to do anything but type, and they'll be dry by the time I finish, it works perfectly.

My birthday was wonderful! It was a gorgeous day, and I spent the evening with my cousin and her friends just hanging out. I got a bazillion phone calls! Let's see, Daddy called me around 7:30 that morning, Mom called in the afternoon, my brother called me at midnight the night before, my hairdresser called me and her little boys wished me a happy birthday (they're 6 and 2, so cute!), two of my best friends called me during the day (Kourtney and Kristen), Heather (my suitemate) told me happy birthday at midnight, Steven sent an early birthday wish on the 26th, and Jarrod wished me a happy birthday over AIM. I got a ton of "happy birthday"s over facebook. People wrote on my wall all day! That's a very good feeling. That's one of the reasons I love birthdays so much. It's such a good feeling to hear from people who care. My classes that day both told me happy birthday, and I got sung to at a meeting on Wednesday.

I took Heather home with me on Friday to celebrate with my family. We had lasagna and I got an adorable picture frame with little magnets that spell my name to go on the magnetic frame. Daddy's supposed to be buying me a phone. I'll get that before too long, I hope.

I got a birthday wish from my ex-boyfriend, but we won't go there. He actually just IMed me... Wants to "catch up" later. I'll be online, if for no other reason than to see what he has to say.

It saddens me to say that this gas price thing is becoming something huge. I literally go around and compare prices. I found gas at Wal-Mart for $2.709 with my card yesterday, so I think I'll stick with them for the time being. Even though it is across town. It's better than paying $2.859 on my side of town. It's a shame. But I can't afford to not get the cheapest I can find.

I think I've lost weight, and that's a good thing, though I couldn't tell you for sure yes or no or how much. It's more like I can see it in my face and in my favorite jeans.

Being 19 isn't really any different from being 18, except that I feel a little older. It's strange to say how, exactly, but I really do. The very first time I've felt any older after a birthday. It's like I can feel myself growing up. Which is crazy, I know, but true nonetheless.

Finals are next week. I'm not really worried about any of them, but I have to study. Which is all I'll be doing this weekend. But it's a price I'm willing to pay to secure my grades. I've got A's in everything except my history class, but I hate that class, so the B I have in it will have to suffice. I might be able to get enough extra credit with my final to bring it up to an A, but I don't know. We'll see.

I made the RA candidate pool, which means they'll put me in any openings that come up. And I made costume shop payroll, which is like taking any social life I have and pouring it down the drain, but it'll be a steady paycheck. They're saying about 20 hours a week, if not more.

One of my new favorite songs: "Seashores of Old Mexico" by George Strait.

Ok, off the finish my nails! Talk to y'all later! Hope you're all having awesome weeks! And happy late anniversary to Carrie and Chad! We love y'all! I'm going to have to re-do my thumbnails...

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Today is my 19th birthday! Yay! So, one more year of teenagerhood. Hehe. Donna did my nails last night, and cooked me dinner, so that was fun. More fun to come! I'll update tonight about the birthday happenings. Woohoo!

Tuesday Afternoons from Heaven

Suddenly, the light comes shining in!!! I love my parents. They are totally and completely wonderful and they don't even know it! So, Mom, Dad, thank you both so much for being so amazing! You had no idea what was wrong or that anything was even going on, and yet you did know, and now everything's better! Not because we talked about anything specific, but because you cared enough to call out of the blue and be absolutely silly and normal, like everything in the world was fine, which it really is, I just couldn't see it. So thank you. I don't know why, but everything suddenly feels lighter, and the sun's flooding back into my life, right where it belongs. And as I sit here crying those crazy tears of joy, I thank God for you both, that you're there for me and I'm so blessed when I don't deserve it. You are both wonderful people and fantastic parents, and I know we've had our disagreements, but I'm as thankful for those as the beautiful days of one-on-one time. So, rest assured, Dad, Mom, everybody, that I am once again back to being me. Maybe a little changed, but still me. And thank you all for your prayers and love and support! Life is easier with strong shoulders to help me through the valleys. Love y'all!

Un-answers

What color are my eyes? Are they green? Sometimes. But sometimes they're blue. I don't know. Does anyone?

Standing in the shower, crying about nothing, I realized I'm not really happy. I don't know why. Maybe it has something to do with something someone said about something. Well, actually, yes, it does have something to do with exactly that. A friend told me it was my fault that I'm "one of the guys". What I can't figure out is how exactly that works. I can't change who I am. I can't make myself any less tom-boyish or more girlie. I don't think I'd want to, for the most part. And yes, it hurts. It hurts that the guys talk to me like I'm one of them. It hurts that I can't be dated because I'm a friend, and half of the guys see me as a force to be reckoned with, and not something feminine or attractive, and those that do are too scared to step up and do anything about it. This doesn't really matter, and won't have any repercussions since none of the guys I'm referring to ever read this thing. I really don't see why ANY of you still read it. But whatever. Your choice, I guess.

I've diagnosed myself with depression. I don't know why I'm sad or out of sorts or down most of the time, except that I need a few days all alone to zone out and recharge with no company, no pressure, no worries, and no pain. That will, unfortunately, never happen. Life doesn't work like that. Not even mine. Which seems rather strange, since I seem to live a very charmed life. Some would even call it perfect. I can't say that I blame them. Everything that's "wrong" in my life is my won fault. Well, mostly.

For those of you who don't know, here's the latest. I went to the doctor the Thursday before Easter. I had blood work done on that Saturday. The results came back last Wednesday. I'm trying to get some female problems sorted out and make all of this unnatural body hair stop growing. A clear complexion would be nice, too, but I'm not really getting my hopes up. Anyway, my results said my thyroid, kidneys, and liver are all fine, and I'm not anemic or glucose resistant. My cholesterol is too high, but I'm working on that actively now. My testosterone levels, however, were a bit off... An adult woman should be at or below 20. My testosterone was above 60. I'm so sick and tired of dealing with this! I was so discouraged! I still am, really. I just wanted them to be able to prescribe something simple, fix everything, and make me at least semi-normal, but nooo. I have to be even more of a freak. Do you have any idea how hard it is to think of myself as a real woman when I have as much testosterone as some guys and act like them, too?

I just want to crawl into bed and stay there. For a long, long, long time. All alone. Nothing but me and my dreams and the sweet hum of the fan. And all of this in spite of my birthday on Thursday. I'll be 19. Whoopty-doo. I need sleep.

!!!!!!!!

Will somebody PLEASE remind me why it's illegal to KILL someone?!?!? My roommate... GRRR!!!! I don't know how much more of this crap I can stand! NOISE ALL OF THE TIME! Either groaning, talking, or those friggin eating noises... I'm going to GO INSANE. And she talks and always has the TV on. And she's ANNOYING. Grr................ I'm so frustrated! I just want to scream! Or punch her. Or kill her and dispose of the body. Idiot girl. It's grating on my nerves... AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! As much as I love guns, it's really hard to not use them... Dang.

Birthdays, Bests, and Besitos

Can y'all see my picture? That's right, it's a tree. The Century Tree, as a matter of fact. It's an Aggie thing. This explains a lot of those "Aggie things". I guess it comes from having a best friend at A&M, but I love all that stuff. Awesome traditions. I had a dream last night that Reveille ran from College Station to Huntsville and got me out of class and took me back to A&M with her, where I was awarded a full scholarship. Strange. But it was pretty funny.

Sunday was Daddy's 40th birthday. We went to the Bass Pro Shop's Outdoor World in the Houston area and then went into the mall on Saturday. He got a suit and a shirt. Very cool.

Today is Andrew's 21st birthday. It doesn't really amount to anything, since he doesn't read my blog, but he's Jarrod's housemate and a friend of mine, through Jarrod. Jarrod is an Aggie, along with Andrew.

I have 5 best friends and more good friends than I can count. My bests are Jarrod, who will always be close to me, because we get along pretty much all of the time; Kristen, who represents my past; Kourtney, who represents high school and my leadership experiences; Courtney, who is there for me when I need her and is my voice of reason; and Heather, my suitemate, who is the person I'm the craziest with, who never lets me feel sorry for myself, keeps me on top of things, and expects me to expect a lot from myself. Honestly, I think Heather is the one person I could hang out with all day and never get annoyed at or get tired of. I love all of my bests, but some of them can be annoying, argumentative, and just plain silly. Jarrod and I can spend a day together, no problem, but we generally run out of things to talk about, so we go find something to do, like watch a movie.

I saw The Notebook for the first time last night. The very end got me. I liked it, though.

I need to talk to the English department head and see if I'm exempt from my 266/267 class, since I got A's in my composition classes and 265. Makes no sense to anybody from somewhere other than SHSU, but it's ok.

Next week, I have a research paper due on Monday, a research project due on Tuesday, a doctor's appointment on Thursday, and Friday off. This week, I have a presentation due in History, an RA interview on Friday at 8:30 AM, Relay for Life from 7 PM to 7 AM on Friday through Saturday, another interview on Saturday, a shirt to sew (which doesn't have to be finished this week, but I want to finish it asap), and cupcakes and cakes to bake. For the Relay for Life. So it looks like I'll be writing my research paper tonight or tomorrow night, and finishing on Saturday and Sunday. Yay. Note the lack of enthusiasm.

My roommate went to the opening Astros game last night. So she didn't come home. Which is wonderful. She's not really bothering me, but I love being alone in my room.

Heather's having a tough week, so we might go do something tonight to lighten the mood. We'll see.

Oh, and I got my cartilage pierced. I have a point on my ear, so I got it there. It didn't really hurt, though it throbs if I hit it just right. I got the bright idea to put Neosporin on it, so hopefully it'll heal faster. 1 month. It's on my right side. And I think it looks really good.

People keep telling me they love my shirt, though it's just a John Cena shirt, and isn't anything impressive. But whatever. It says, "Hustle. Loyalty. Respect." on the front and, "Down since day one." on the back. All in caps. I like it, so it's all gravy.

Well, I'm out. Class soon, and then I have crew, then who knows what else. Besitos! (Yes, that's Spanish.)

Back to School...Again

Aaaaaah. My first day back. Spring Break was...less than satisfying. I can't put my finger on exactly why, except that I never really had nothing to do on any given day. I guess I missed that laziness.

I amaze myself sometimes. My procrastination, my performance in a pinch, my care-free attitude toward life, the way people open up to me. Things I've noticed today.

The white azaleas are gorgeous, though the day isn't. Dreary this morning, muggy this afternoon. There are certain comforts about being here I hate to give up, even if it is to go home. The feeling of absolute freedom. I'm accountable for and to only myself. Well, that's not entirely true, but I have no serious and binding obligations that weigh me down and suffocate me here. It's not really that things at home are so bad, but rather that I get tired of the same three-ring circus every time I'm there. It's as if I can't truly be the person I'm becoming. And it's very hard to squeeze back into that oppressive shell every time I make that hour and a half drive back to Mother's house. The pain brings tears to my eyes.

But there are other things here that I love. The people. The variety. The routine and spontaneity all wrapped up together. The endless supply of hot water. The absence of pressure to get out of the bathroom because there are a billion others waiting to take a shower. Time by myself. And yes, even those annoyances are strangely welcome. My roommate's eating habits. Her strange noises. The cold floors and my annoying alarm clock. All of it marks where I am in my life right now. And it's truly where I want to be. I'm growing up and I'm afraid everyone is waiting to pounce on me to hold me back, make me stay where I was and stop this transformation that college holds. Who will win?

A Day for Boyfriends

There is a single cluster of mistletoe in a tree on campus. It hangs over the sidewalk all year round, an enchanting parasite. Does this make that particular spot more romantic? Or magical? I don't know. But it could. It's possible.

The turmoil is resolved. The battle has been fought and the dawn has defeated the day. Thank you, dear warriors. Meet with me on the morrow where the breeze softly whistles through the dew-damp ferns for a celebration of sorts. If you so choose...or so dare.

Yes, my own creation. In the wee hours. Meaning? I'm no longer homeless for Friday night. And I have multiple job opportunities.

Patty, the costume shop head, has asked me to apply for a position on payroll for next year! And I got an interview for the RA position for next year, too! And yes, I can do both. My roommate also got a music splicing program, so I can format some songs for my piece going up Friday.

The homeless thing... Well, I was going to stay with my cousin Friday night and go to the wedding on Saturday, which would've been fine, but she's not going to be home and can't leave the keys because she has to have them on Monday. And you can't lock the doors without the keys. So I talked to the bride, and she said I was more than welcome to go up to College Station on Friday night and stay with them, so that's what I'm going to do! They have extra room, and they all know me and don't mind, and Sarah really wants me to come, so yay!

I'll still be able to be home by Saturday night, so it's all good!

The title... I made a really random comment in costume shop about today being a good day to have a boyfriend because I really just needed a big hug and some movie time. I'm fine, and I'm not sad or anything, but sometimes... Especially now that I have an idea of what I'm missing. Oh well. My time will come. Aight, I'm out! Love and hugs!

Bubba and Blues

A journey must begin with a single step.

Duh. This from the fortune-cookie fairies. Gosh.

But that means I ate Chinese food tonight! Yay! Good stuff. I'm still dealing with these random impulses to sleep... Hehe.

I'm going home tomorrow morning. And I'm giving Josh a ride back to school on Sunday. He's a friend from high school. Lord, help me, please. He's a bit of a trial for me sometimes, even though he's a sweet enough guy. He was my homecoming escort last year.

Spring break is coming up! Yesssss! I have a billion things planned, including a visit to the high school to see everybody, a day or two spent with Mema, a trip to Houston with Mom and possibly some other ladies from the church, a day of reorganizing the church library, and hopefully some time just hanging out with my brother. I miss him a lot. I miss him as much as I do Mom and Dad, if not a little bit more, because he hasn't really been just my brother in a long while. I haven't spent any time with him lately. And I miss that. I love my brother very much. Mom and Dad are, of course, my parents, and I love them, too, but Derek is number one on my list when I think of people I love. Parents are different. They are their own little category, I think.

Heather, my suitemate and I have been talking a lot lately. This whole semester, actually. And I love it! She's awesome! Even my roommate and I are getting along. But Heather and I have a ton in common. Last night we were talking about our brothers. She has a younger brother and is really close to him. I wish I was closer to Derek, but I know he'll be there when I need him and I consider him one of my dearest friends. So, in a way, I'm closer to Derek than Heather is to her brother. Derek is one of the funniest people I know. And he's sweet and a gentleman and a wonderful big brother. Also the reason I didn't have a boyfriend in high school, but, in retrospect, I'm very glad he was there to protect me.

I don't know where this sudden expression of my appreciation of that bond came from, but I guess I miss him more than usual lately. I have a feeling I'd be a very different person if my brother wouldn't have been there.

Anyway, things are awesome! I'm actually making stuff in costume crew, which is awesome because they trust me to do important things, and all of my classes are going fairly well. I have one midterm next week, and that's all. So that's really cool. I also have a mask project due. I'll try to get pictures and post them and explain my choices and my performance. But that will have to wait. I don't know for sure what I'm going to do.

Yes, the title is almost random. I did talk about my brother, but I am by no means blue. It's a very pretty color, though.

Well, it's Dancing at Lughnasa tonight, and then Heather and I are coloring the bathroom mirror. Did y'all know that mirrors are dry-erasable?!?!?! We were SOOOO excited! We now write notes to each other, draw things, and have the MOST fun! Hehe. Yeah, we got a little carried away, but it's a blast. Life's too short to not be crazy every now and again. Though I wonder if it's more of a constant state of things rather than the exception... Mwah!

Long time, no post...

It's been a while, hasn't it. Sorry. Not a whole lot has been happening. I've been less mothering lately. I guess I'm just getting burned out. But I'll be back to normal soon. Spring break is coming up! I'm doing a bunch of stuff with Mom, and I have some plans of my own, so I'll be busy, but it'll be a good busy. I'm hungry. I went to church this morning. I'm in the library now. Joe, my acting partner, met with me to pick out a play. He was early and my group for production was late, so I multi-tasked for most of the afternoon. I finally got a chance to burn those CD's I've been wanting to burn, so that's good. Other than that, things are rather uneventful. I'm going with the flow, and, with the exception of this ache in my stomach that is hunger, I am doing fine. My roommate and suitemate were both gone this weekend, so I had an incredibly uneventful day yesterday. I slept late and read a book for the 5th time or so, wrote in my journal, took a nap, and munched on some snacky things. Very good day. But anyway, my music is almost finished burning, so I'm off. Food! Yay! Love and toodles!

Development

Here's a thought. Should I just be a theatre teacher? Mother says I won't be as marketable, but I wouldn't have to change my major and I could be just as involved in the theatre department. And I could still teach. Reasoning? I don't really know that I would enjoy teaching English. I know I love the subject, but is that love enough to get me through the classes I hate? Then again, is that love enough to get me through the Theatre classes I hate, too? Ideas? Suggestions? Help?! I may be just sounding off. I'm still in the decision stage, I think. And so the journey continues.

Fears

Life takes unexpected turns. I'm scared to death of failure. Not getting married and having children would be failure. Dying alone and unloved would be failure. Never loving someone completely, not living my life for me, giving up my truest dreams, all failures. I want what everyone wants-happiness. But my happiness depends on something beyond my control. The love of a man who would make a wonderful father and husband. I've made a decision. I want to be a teacher. And I want to stay in Texas. I love Texas. My roots are here. How could I give that up? Who would ask me to? Nobody, I hope. But I'm afraid I'm making a mistake. Changing my major, compromising my "dream", changing my whole life to pursue something that may never actually materialize.

I thought I wanted to direct. I think about it now and I see that my passion doesn't really lie there at all. That it's merely another fun pastime I happen to be good at. So I searched my soul and came up with the answer to my own question, "What will make me truly happy and really fulfill my deepest desires?" Motherhood. It's that simple and yet that complex. I know I wouldn't be happy just sitting at home cooking and cleaning all day, despite the charm that it holds now. I'd be bored out of my mind in a matter of years. So I need a career that will work well with my domestic goals. Teaching. And teaching high school English, no less. With a minor in theatre and my masters in English, I'll not only be incredibly marketable, but I'll be able to do so many things in both small and large school systems. Maybe I'll become another Mrs. Rollins. Sure, that means 2 more years of school and a teaching certification, but I'll be happy. I'll be able to teach, interact with people all day, be a mother and a wife, and have a life both outside and with my work. I'm steadily warming up to this idea. Occasionally berate myself for being nothing but scared, running away from California and the unkind life awaiting me there. But then I'll remember the gorgeous Texas skies and know I'm getting closer and closer to my real dream.

That still leaves me a scared, single college student about to take the hardest and biggest step of her life. I ask your prayers, your support, and your encouragement. Hugs and kisses. Thanks to all of you. Ok, I'm ready to take the plunge. I pray someone will catch me at the bottom...

And Now, Spatula, with Today's News

Hey everybody. How about those Steelers?! Hehe. The game was one point away from the perfect irony, but that's ok. Some pretty funny commercials this year. I didn't see any that really pulled my heart-strings, though. Watched the game with some friends. It was pretty fun.

I'm exceptionally tired today. Heather (my suitemate) and I stayed up until the wee hours Friday and Saturday, and I guess I'm still feeling the effects. At least my homework's all done.

People are dumb. They apparently don't know that the little "away" symbol means I'm NOT HERE! And no, Mark, I'm not talking about you. Random people pop up on my screen when I'm not home. Sure, I love getting messages, but c'mon, don't they posses common sense? Kinda weird in my opinion. But whatever.

In other news, my tooth is in pretty good shape. I got some putty to fill it as my wonderful mother suggested, and it helped. I still don't chew on that side and it hurts occasionally, but at least I can drink things without the excruciating pain shooting through the right side of my jaw and ear. It comes out Friday! Love and toodles!

>>>UPDATE!!! Fresh from the news desk! Just for all of my wonderful readers who notice little things like this, my teeth are fine! I got 2 molars removed on Friday and haven't felt any pain at all. I can now touch the holes with my tongue and play with my gum during class. Life is definitely looking up! I have dissolvable stitches, and they're still there. How long does it take for them to dissolve...?

Thursday: Almost There!

The good mood continues! Yesss! Anbesol tastes funny. I had an awesome workout last night! It was pretty long, but it felt sooo good! I felt it this morning. My legs were kinda shaky and I was really hungry. But I have every intention of doing it again tonight. Now why didn't I start this earlier? I have no idea. I love it! Who would've thought I would actually LIKE to work out?!?! Haha. Not me!

But on to other things. My mouth is numb. It's a totally awesome feeling. :p We get free breakfast tomorrow morning provided by the wonderful people at Residence Life. We get an allotment every month to spend on what ever we want. This month, it's breakfast. We also had a "welcome back" party last Wednesday.

My MySpace song is the Top Gun Anthem!!! Yay! I LOVE that song! One of the greatest instrumentals ever!

I'm glad Jessalyn's buckling down and not partying as much, but she's home all of the time. Not exactly cool. And she sleeps CONSTANTLY! But whatever. I don't even really care if I wake her up. She wakes me up all of the time. So poo.

Did everyone hear about the Seattle scandal?! They've been using a registered trademark (not their own) for about 20 years now and the finally got caught! They stole the "12th Man" phrase and idea from Texas A&M, and now the Aggies are takin' 'em to court! Woohoo! Gig 'em! This is a time for Texas to unite. We should all be together in our defense of the trademark. Even if you bleed orange instead of maroon. Interesting thought.

Sewing mantra for the week: You rip what you sew!

Looking Up

I'm in a much better mood now. And my roommate is still alive. :p I went shopping last night, so I feel muuuuch better. Hehe. No, I didn't spend too much. I got some new sneakers for hip-hop, some Anbesol for my tooth, and a new CD. I also had a fantabulous workout and some pretty entertaining conversations as well, so today feels like a good day. I'll let you know for sure when it's all over tonight. Love and toodles!

Boo

I'm depressed. And my tooth hurts. I don't know why I'm depressed except that maybe I feel like I'm missing something in life. Like things were meant to be something different. If you don't understand, don't worry about it.

But my tooth hurts.

Is it justifiable homicide to kill your roommate for eating noisily? I can tolerate most things, but ever since I was young I never could stand the noises people make when they eat. Lo and behold, I get a roommate who is the loudest chip muncher under the sun!!! I'm going to kill her. I know quite a few people who would help my get rid of the body...

Complaints

Being sick stinks. And Nyquil tastes sooo much better than Dayquil! Dunno why, but it does. Other than the obvious discomfort in my nasal passages, throat, and ears (causing a headache, stuffy nose, and lovely cough), I'm dealing with a huge, gaping hole in the back of my head. I've stopped chewing on my right side. And it's hard to remember until something gets over there and the excruciating pain shoots through my body at speeds previously unknown to mankind. I have a presentation due tomorrow, another due on Friday, and a test today, only for about half of which I'm prepared.

On a lighter note, I love my classes. Makeup is a blast, costuming is fun, acting 2 is awesome, intro to production is pretty sweet, and my history class is even half-way interesting. Woohoo! My dance class is just funny. If you know anything about Southeast Texas, imagine a hip-hop class at a relatively inexpensive college... Hehehe. Yeah, I'm a white girl. :p

But back to being sick. I'm soo not up for a long day, but I get one anyway. Maybe I'll be smart and use my invalid time to do my homework. Haha. Suuure. That's what I'll do... ;D Ok, I'm out. Love and toodles!

Tragedy

In one morning all changed. Porkchop's dad passed away. He had his stomach banded recently and went to the ER Sunday. They had to do emergency surgery and he didn't recover as they intended. Please pray for Courtney, as well as Christie (Courtney's step-mom), Kendall, Matthew, and Heather (Courtney's siblings). And Bernice, Courtney's mother. This is going to be hard for all of them. And for those of us doing our best to ease their pain.

It's That Time Again

Well, I'm back "home" now. School, that is. It's really wonderful to be back. I'm shifting gears again, telling myself that it's time to buckle down and "do" college. But I can work hard and play hard, too. No more worries about curfew and calling home every ten minutes. I'm thinking about getting a job, but then there's all of the stuff I have to do already, not to mention all of the possibilities for this semester, so I'll probably wait. I'm definitely working this summer, though. My roommate wants some company tomorrow while she gets her truck worked on, but I don't know when my audition is and if I'll be able to go, so I'm waking up early to go sign up if possible.

I have a very pretty color-coded schedule written up, and I'm walking around some time tomorrow to see where my classes are. Most of them are in the theater building, so no worries there. I have my first hip-hop class on Wednesday. Um, yay, I guess. We'll see and I'll report back. This should be interesting. Well, g'night! Love and hugs!

Troy

It’s all Helen’s fault, you know. If she hadn’t run off with Paris a dreadful chain of events would have been avoided. Of course, we wouldn’t still be reading about the history of the greatest war ever fought, either, now would we?

Think about it. Paris takes Helen. Paris fights Menelaus, Hector kills Menelaus, Agamemnon wages war to avenge his brother, Hector kills Ajax, and Achilles’ cousin fights for Greeks dying on Trojan shores. Achilles fights Hector and kills him, escalating the war and changing the fate of the war for the Greeks, who were doomed from the beginning without Achilles to fight for them. All for Helen’s renowned beauty. Then Paris shoots an arrow and hits the heel of the great hero and the Greeks resort to trickery to win the war.

And then there’s the whole “Romeo and Juliet” inner story. Achilles loves Chryseis and yet tears them apart with his own vengeance. Twisted fate.

Is the entire movie of Troy one big bundle of dramatic irony? WE all know what’s going to happen. Some of us even know the details. Did anyone notice that really weird reference to Aeneas? He was supposed to be older and married...

I like it. The character development, the plot development, and even the connected threads of revenge and death appeal to me. Ah, the timeless story of deception, war, love, and mythology intertwined with an irrational trust in the divine beings of our own imaginations. What a novel idea, eh?

Sarcasm, cynicism, yeah. But oh well. Have a good day everybody.

Oh yeah, I love the horse. So cute.