Saturday, August 27, 2005
The Truth
Ok, here I am, spilling my guts. Honest. And I need advice. Quick. There's this guy. We met and hit it off last Monday and saw each other the next day and the next, etc., and then again today. And yeah, we kissed, but nothing else. But I don't know what to do about this. I don't feel comfortable with the relationship. I can talk to him about anything, more so than any other guy, but I don't feel like we should be anything more than friends. He's supportive and sweet and friendly and a theatre major, like me. But he's mixed. And he's kinda chunky. And his voice is higher than mine. Shouldn't I be blind to any flaws in an ideal relationship? My gut instinct is to say "no" to the whole situation and run. I'm not comfortable and I'm not at peace. But I don't want to lose something so great that is his infatuation with me. I feel accepted and beautiful with him. But I don't know if I want to be seen with him. I know that sounds terrible, but I'm trying to be as straight-forward as possible. Mixed, for those of you who need clarification, means that one parent is white and the other is black. In this case, his mom is Irish-Indian and his dad is 3/4 black and 1/4 Mexican. With my own personal standards and views, I don't honestly feel comfortable as his "attachment". For whatever reason. I'm not racist by any means, but racial mixing... I really don't know what to do. I'm confused, overwhelmed, and very uneasy about everything right now. I'm SOOO not ready for this. So, help? Advice? Tips, ideas, suggestions, or previous experiences? I'm lost and I don't know where else to turn. I know, sob story of the month, but I'm lost. I'm almost in tears. I told him I want to take the weekend off and he SAID he was cool with it, but he's a guy. So that prolly means he's not cool with it. 'Nough said. I'm not ready for this, I'm not read for any commitment outside of classes and friends and sleep. I'm going to bed now after some thought and prayer. This weekend will be my time to just be. I haven't "been" since I got here. Man, this is so screwed up. What now?
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7 comments:
WHAT!!!!!!!
Pam you should listen to your gut feeling. I have been there, maybe I could "learn" to like him the way he likes me....perhaps, though not likely. Sounds like your already talking yourself out of the relationship. Your young and free and there will be MANY guys that will be coming into and out of your life.
("My gut instinct is to say "no" to the whole situation and run. I'm not comfortable")..... ok, that says it all! Why are you forcing yourself to like him??? When the right one comes along, you will know. You will feel just the opposite on how you feel towards this guy.
Thanks. Update later.
Sorry I'm late but you know my opinion just shuts all these other ones down cuz I'm kinda special like that. Plus Im the only other guy commenting here so I deserve at least some attention. Uh...now I forgot what it was, OH YA!
Now, most guys are gonna want it broken to them softly...but then theres those other dudes who just want the truth straight forward. So here's the plan...
Kick him in the gut and call him a fat mocha butt then run as fast as you can the other way. But if the campus cops are in tha direction, run around the guy then proceed that way instead. Game on.
Pam. . .You Rock. .
and my answer for you regarding him is :
NO WAY!
dont do it pam, youll regret it, you deserve better, seriously
Just wait a little longer :D
pam, here's some good advice. Don't date, or get serious for the first half of college. Living in the dorms last year, i saw a lot of people get really close really fast. Trust me, don't get involved. You just started, and you need to get used to the college scene, which takes a couple of months. There is no rush, so just enjoy the first months of college, and get used to all the homework ;)
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