Texas Tornado

So the drama! Heh... But seriously. Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster. The morning started out pretty good. I was a tiny bit apprehensive and almost worried. I hadn't talked to Drew at all on Monday, but I talked to Dad. He found out from Mom about Drew. That's not a bad thing, it just wasn't how I wanted Drew to come into Dad's mind. I wanted to introduce them and then let Dad draw his own conclusions. But it didn't happen like that. So, when I talked to Dad he was in a good moos, no big deal, he just laughed and told me to bring him home to meet him. I responded that I would try, but that Drew works and I wasn't sure he could get off. So Dad was a little perturbed, but I really wasn't concerned about it being an issue. But he called me at about 2:30 yesterday afternoon. He goes into this whole thing about how I'm "hiding" Drew from him and didn't want him to know about my life, etc. He ends by saying that if I don't want him to meet Drew that's fine, I can just be that way. And he hangs up. No goodbye, no "I love you". Nothing. He just hangs up. That hurt far worse than anything he could have possibly said. So I start bawling. I'm in tears, sobbing, so upset I can't think straight. So I IM Jessica and ask her to come cuz I need to talk to her. She does. She lives 2 doors down. She read the email I had written to Dad.

"Daddy,
I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here. I thought you were going to get to go the Ren Fest so I was waiting for that to let you meet him. And no, I didn't want you to know about it because you tend to over-react slightly to guys. You know you do. You always have. I love you very much and I don't want to hurt you. I wouldn't for the world if I could help it. But apparently I'm not very good at avoiding it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry I met a guy and go to school an hour and a half away and don't come home every weekend. I'm sorry I can't fix things. But I'm going to try to bring him home so you can meet him. He really is an amazing guy. So please don't judge him from my stupid mistakes, though I'm not quite sure I know what they are. That hurt me so bad when you called. I'm not hiding him from you! I would be more than happy for the two of you to meet. Honestly. But making that happen is harder than you might think. And I didn't want you to meet him and then it not matter because he didn't hang around for more than a week. But he's still here, so I really do want you to meet him. And I did not tell my brother not to tell you. I told him to give you a good report if you asked. I did want him to be a surprise in a way, and I had every intention of bringing him home, but nobody told me we had power, so I wasn't making plans. It's not like we're incredibly serious right now or anything. He's a really great guy and I really just want to be happy. But please don't create a huge rift between us. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by writing this email, but I'm in tears and I can't call because I can't talk right now. I'm so scared and yet so hopeful. And I don't want to lose that. I promise you would've met him in due course before much longer. You were already supposed to have met him. He was/is looking forward to it, by the way. Ok, I can't do this anymore. I hope this helps and doesn't make things worse. I know you're not heartless and cruel, but it sure seemed that way when you called angry with me. I can't do anything more than apologize. So I'm sorry, again. Please respond.
Love,
me."

And I didn't call because I couldn't talk because I was crying too hard. He hasn't checked his email yet, so he hasn't responded.

Well, that night I went to Bible study with Drew. I really needed that. I felt a lot better after the study and worship songs. But I had taken a three-hour nap and my eyes were puffy, so I know Drew could tell something was wrong. He made me feel as comforted as possible and didn't have to say a word... Anyway, after Bible study I told him that Dad had called and I was going home this weekend and I'd really love for him to go with me. And he said that was fine and then gave me a hug and left. I went back home (dorm) and called Porkchop. She didn't answer, but called back immediately and asked, "What's wrong?" So I poured out my story. She knows me incredibly well and knows Dad, so she gave the advice I needed and made me feel so much better about things by making me laugh and relax again.

Drew got online. I talked to him for a while and he reassured me that all would be fine, so I was breathing normally again by bedtime, especially after a deliciously hot shower.

But Dad hasn't responded yet. I'm going to call Mom and tell her we'll be coming home on Saturday. I don't know if Dad told her about our conversation, but I'm not going to. She doesn't need my problems. She has her own, and it's time I learned to deal with my own trouble. Yes, this is major, and yes, I'd love for her to help, but she has to live with him and I don't. Anyway, I'm still anxious, but I'll be ok. If you would, please pray for me. And Dad. And Drew. And any advice, despite what I've said about dealing with my own problems, would be appreciated. This weekend will be a deciding factor, I fear. Plus I have a test on Friday and a paper due tomorrow. Ugh. Thank you all for reading and your prayers. Love and hugs.