Dragonflies 2

"Dragonfly"

I will never let you down
I will always be around

In the time we are here
We'll see love disappear
Don't ask how
Don't ask why
Just fly, dragonfly
Just fly, dragonfly

I will never bring you down
I will always stick around
I will heat you when you're cold

In the time we have left
We'll raise eyes to the sky
Don't ask how
Don't ask why
Just fly, dragonfly
Just fly, dragonfly

Don't ask how
Don't ask why
Just fly, dragonfly
Just fly, fly, fly dragonfly

A somewhat random song by a group named A-Ha. But you know how I am about dragonflies...

Dragonflies

I love Dragonflies. It seems to be a recent fascination with me. I even got a henna tattoo of a dragonfly yesterday. (It's temporary. Go read the facts and info.) The lady told me dragonflies were "spirit guides". So I did some searching and found a few things.

Dragonfly is the power of light. The dragonfly inhabits two realms: air and water and the influence of both these elements will be felt by Dragonfly people. They will be emotional and passionate during their early years (the influence of water) and more balanced with greater mental clarity and control in as they mature (the influence of air).

I have decided on who I am in relation to my costume. I am either: Freya, Norse Goddess of love, sex, war, attraction, fertility, and beauty, the most beautiful of all northern goddesses who has a thing for cats; Artemis, goddess of the wilderness, the hunt, wild animals, and fertility, accompanied by nymphs; or Terpsichore, the muse of dancing, mother of the Sirens, and player if the lute. I think Freya or Artemis, but I can't make my final decision... Oh well. I like the idea of Freya, but it would make more sense for me to be Artemis. Go figure.

I don't feel good. I'm sick. I'm going to get lots of sleep. I drank some soup and took a long nap just a little while ago. Now I'm off to Christine's for a scene rehearsal for our acting class. When I get back it'll be off to bed again for me. Hopefully I'll be much better by tomorrow morning.

Cha-ching!

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Prayer needed... again

Please pray for Eric Mingle. He is a student here at Sam and was in a car accident coming back from his home. He is in critical condition and was life-flighted out to Beaumont. Remember him, and spread the word. What really just emphasized the whole seriousness of the occasion was his best friend and roommate, Chris. He came waltzing into class just like any other day. Dr. Child asked him about Eric... and he didn't know. Nobody had told him. So he left. And Trevor, another guy in our class, is driving Chris to Beaumont to the hospital to see Eric. The look on his face... Well, let's just say we weren't as rambunctious as usual. Sad, sad day. He graduated valedictorian of his class (of, 20, yeah, but still...) and is really an ok guy. He's a cocky baseball player, but he's not so bad. Hopefully, prayerfully, he'll get better. Soon.

>>UPDATE: Ok, according to Jim, a friend of mine, Eric is, in fact, ok. He has a broken arm and some other things wrong, but he's doing good. We heard that he did, however, kill the person in the other car. It was a head-on collision. Eric had fallen asleep at the wheel. We don't know when he'll be back at school, but he seriously needs major prayer to make it through this. He'll have a hard time recovering emotionally if what we heard is truth. Tough day.

Create Post

Hmmm... let's see, um... k. It's time for a new post, I suppose. But what to write about... Well, hang on. *digs around in backpack* Look! A post, already written! Let me just type this up...

And here's the news in the world of the Spatula. Heather, my suitemate, is in the hospital. She had a reaction from the lack of insulin. She's diabetic, and she ran out of insulin. And one thing led to another. She got sick the other day and her roommate took her to the hospital. So she's now in the hospital, in a town about 30 minutes away. She's stabilized, but won't return to school for at least two weeks, possibly three. We're not sure if she'll be back at all this semester. We're all going to miss her while she's gone. We sent her a card from all of us at Spivey. So I hope it made her feel better.

I gave blood yesterday! Woohoo! I'm one of those sick people who actually enjoy giving blood. I really do get a kick out of watching my life's source flow out of my body in a hot, red stream into a little bag. I was talking to some girls in the room with me, and I mentioned that giving blood is like an investment. It's something you deposit in the "bank" and can withdraw if you ever need it. I'm O positive, so I can give blood to anybody. Which is very cool. A couple of things were really awesome. One, I could feel the warmth of my blood flowing through the tube into the bag. Two, I felt great! I really didn't feel the effects of blood-loss. The first time I gave I felt it. But not this time. And I got a free super-comfy t-shirt! I left my keys there and got a phone call on my cell from the guy who asked the questions at the beginning. He was pretty cool. All of those wonderfully revealing questions. Haha. I answered "no" to all of them except for the one about being a military dependent and if I felt healthy and well that day. Over all, very cool. I love to give blood. I know, I'm weird, but we've been over this before...

I have decided I don't like our bathroom. Our sink drains too slow, our shower drain backs up and takes a while to drain off, and the handle on the toilet pinched my hand this morning. It hurt, too. So this bathroom is going in the trash and I'm picking up my new one in a little while. Hehe.

Arm hair is the strangest thing... This morning, when I got to my first class, the static electricity from my hoodie made my arm hair stand up, but only on one arm... Go figure. It was kinda funny. So I got back to my room and fixed it with lotion. Easy.

Ok... That's the end of the "discovered" post. Coolness. I guess I'll catch y'all later! Love and hugs!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Well, actually, I did, but I can edit. Mwa hahahahaha! I got a 94 on my English test! Yay! Ok, I'm really done now. Buh-bye.

Home for the Weekend

Well, ok. Went home yesterday. Actually, took Drew home to meet Dad... Yeah... Anyway, it was cool. Dad behaved himself and Drew did wonderfully, as I knew he would. We got there Saturday afternoon and helped Dad clean up a cedar tree. We're still cleaning from Rita, fyi. Anyway, the tree was actually two trees grown together, so there was a nice little groove in between the two original trunks... And inside that groove? SNAKE EGGS!!! Woohoo! Yeah, for serious. They were ground rattlers. We actually saw one before we cut into the main trunk and killed it with the chainsaw (good fun, right?), but didn't think a whole lot of it. Until Derek made the comment that there might be a nest inside. And there was! And they were all still alive! So... we torched 'em. Very cool! We poured gasoline on the eggs in the tree and on a stick, then lit the stick and WOOSH! Fire everywhere! It was GREAT!!! Hahaha. I know, I'm sick... But it was really cool. And we roasted a little egg on a stick just like a marshmallow... Fun fun fun. There was one we had "hatched" before we torched 'em that went down into the chainsaw groove in the tree, and that little sucker burned for forever! But it was very awesome. And they were all dead. Yessss! We checked the eggs and popped a couple open today to make sure. Hehehe... Anyway, we got most of the tree cleaned up, but there's still the main trunk and the part over the fence, so Dad and Derek will take care of that this next week some time. I might have pictures, too. I'll have to get somebody at home to send 'em... Cross your fingers!

We went to church today and Drew met about 50 people, and I really don't expect him to remember any of their names. But we had a good service and a good Sunday School lesson. Well, my class did anyway. I think Drew had a good time, at least he says it wasn't bad... At least they didn't scare him off, right? Lol. Well, lemme get out of here. I know y'all all have better things to do than read my blog. :p So, ttyl! Love and hugs!

Answered

"Baby girl,

I do love you very much!!! More than you will ever know, and no one is or will ever be good enough for you. You know I would rather have you call me and say, "Daddy, I met a guy and I like him" than...letting me find out the way I did. I'm not judging him; I don't know him, but you still should have told me. I don't expect you to tell me every time you turn around, but at least keep me informed about you... You are my little girl and I do want to know what you are doing... As far as Drew is concerned, I won't have a problem with him unless he mistreats you or hurts you in any way. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he has to be perfect but he had be real close when it comes to you... And by the way, I did say I love you when I hung up on the phone the other day, you just didn't hear me. See you Saturday.

Love,
Daddy"

That was the response I got yesterday. Well, there was a lot more to it, but you get the idea. And I started crying...this time in relief. I couldn't believe how much was weighing on this one particular conversation/conflict. Wow. But I'm better now. Yay! I feel lighter! And Drew's coming home with me tomorrow and we're gonna have a good time! And my fortune cookie was right... Woohoo! Unfortunately, I don't remember what it said... Hehe. Well, just wanted to let y'all know that all is good! Dad, if you want me to take something out, just lemme know tomorrow.

Texas Tornado

So the drama! Heh... But seriously. Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster. The morning started out pretty good. I was a tiny bit apprehensive and almost worried. I hadn't talked to Drew at all on Monday, but I talked to Dad. He found out from Mom about Drew. That's not a bad thing, it just wasn't how I wanted Drew to come into Dad's mind. I wanted to introduce them and then let Dad draw his own conclusions. But it didn't happen like that. So, when I talked to Dad he was in a good moos, no big deal, he just laughed and told me to bring him home to meet him. I responded that I would try, but that Drew works and I wasn't sure he could get off. So Dad was a little perturbed, but I really wasn't concerned about it being an issue. But he called me at about 2:30 yesterday afternoon. He goes into this whole thing about how I'm "hiding" Drew from him and didn't want him to know about my life, etc. He ends by saying that if I don't want him to meet Drew that's fine, I can just be that way. And he hangs up. No goodbye, no "I love you". Nothing. He just hangs up. That hurt far worse than anything he could have possibly said. So I start bawling. I'm in tears, sobbing, so upset I can't think straight. So I IM Jessica and ask her to come cuz I need to talk to her. She does. She lives 2 doors down. She read the email I had written to Dad.

"Daddy,
I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here. I thought you were going to get to go the Ren Fest so I was waiting for that to let you meet him. And no, I didn't want you to know about it because you tend to over-react slightly to guys. You know you do. You always have. I love you very much and I don't want to hurt you. I wouldn't for the world if I could help it. But apparently I'm not very good at avoiding it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry I met a guy and go to school an hour and a half away and don't come home every weekend. I'm sorry I can't fix things. But I'm going to try to bring him home so you can meet him. He really is an amazing guy. So please don't judge him from my stupid mistakes, though I'm not quite sure I know what they are. That hurt me so bad when you called. I'm not hiding him from you! I would be more than happy for the two of you to meet. Honestly. But making that happen is harder than you might think. And I didn't want you to meet him and then it not matter because he didn't hang around for more than a week. But he's still here, so I really do want you to meet him. And I did not tell my brother not to tell you. I told him to give you a good report if you asked. I did want him to be a surprise in a way, and I had every intention of bringing him home, but nobody told me we had power, so I wasn't making plans. It's not like we're incredibly serious right now or anything. He's a really great guy and I really just want to be happy. But please don't create a huge rift between us. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by writing this email, but I'm in tears and I can't call because I can't talk right now. I'm so scared and yet so hopeful. And I don't want to lose that. I promise you would've met him in due course before much longer. You were already supposed to have met him. He was/is looking forward to it, by the way. Ok, I can't do this anymore. I hope this helps and doesn't make things worse. I know you're not heartless and cruel, but it sure seemed that way when you called angry with me. I can't do anything more than apologize. So I'm sorry, again. Please respond.
Love,
me."

And I didn't call because I couldn't talk because I was crying too hard. He hasn't checked his email yet, so he hasn't responded.

Well, that night I went to Bible study with Drew. I really needed that. I felt a lot better after the study and worship songs. But I had taken a three-hour nap and my eyes were puffy, so I know Drew could tell something was wrong. He made me feel as comforted as possible and didn't have to say a word... Anyway, after Bible study I told him that Dad had called and I was going home this weekend and I'd really love for him to go with me. And he said that was fine and then gave me a hug and left. I went back home (dorm) and called Porkchop. She didn't answer, but called back immediately and asked, "What's wrong?" So I poured out my story. She knows me incredibly well and knows Dad, so she gave the advice I needed and made me feel so much better about things by making me laugh and relax again.

Drew got online. I talked to him for a while and he reassured me that all would be fine, so I was breathing normally again by bedtime, especially after a deliciously hot shower.

But Dad hasn't responded yet. I'm going to call Mom and tell her we'll be coming home on Saturday. I don't know if Dad told her about our conversation, but I'm not going to. She doesn't need my problems. She has her own, and it's time I learned to deal with my own trouble. Yes, this is major, and yes, I'd love for her to help, but she has to live with him and I don't. Anyway, I'm still anxious, but I'll be ok. If you would, please pray for me. And Dad. And Drew. And any advice, despite what I've said about dealing with my own problems, would be appreciated. This weekend will be a deciding factor, I fear. Plus I have a test on Friday and a paper due tomorrow. Ugh. Thank you all for reading and your prayers. Love and hugs.

Observation

Ok, strange observation... I realized that I owe the success of my blog to two people: Porkchop and Chad. Cuz Chad told his brother and family and Porkchop never stopped commenting... So it works. So a special "thanks" to those two. And a HUGE special thanks to Heath. I don't know where I'd be without you, buddy. Thanks for keeping me semi-sane. Hehe...

Drew

Ok, ok. Sorry about the delay. Drew is... well, I don't know what we are technically, but he said I could introduce him as my boyfriend, a fact that has yet to pass before my father, so that's still unofficial. But Drew is, for lack of any better comparison, my "Prince Charming" in the flesh! He's tall, dark, and handsome, of Italian heritage, about 6', athletic build, hazel eyes. And we have about a zillion things in common. We both want to go to Hawaii and Colorado and possibly live in California. He loves to do things in the water (ski, wakeboard, etc.), as do all of us. He's 11 days older than I am. And his hands fit perfectly with mine! He's sweet and supportive and friendly and laid-back and a gentleman, and so amazing I really don't think I've touched the ground at all over the past two weeks. He plays the guitar and can sing and has wonderful fashion sense (:p) and is a typical boy in some ways, but is undeniably adorable. He says I'm beautiful... We like the same kind of movies, we can sit and talk about all sorts of things, and then we can just "be" without it being awkward at all. He works, and isn't technically a student this semester, but will be enrolled next semester. He's thinking about architecture but hasn't decided yet. He makes me laugh and laughs at my silliness. He listens to stuff I've never heard of, but I like all kinds of music, so that's not an issue. He's a Christian! We go to church together and Bible studies on Tuesdays and it's a major part of both of our lives. He's calming and exciting both, and he makes me happy. He's very busy with work and all sorts of things during the day, but I am, too, so it's not too bad. We make time for each other over the weekends. His Saturdays and Sundays are pretty much spent with me. And we hang out and watch movies and talk and laugh and sleep and play on the computer. He blogs. But I'm not going to post his address until I ask him. So he'll be aware... Cuz it would be mean otherwise. I told a friend that I really never thought anything so... perfect, I guess, could really exist for me. But it seems as if it does. And I'm excited and scared and happy and a little nervous... I don't know what I'm doing at all. But I'm willing to go with it. And he met Mom and my big brother and thinks they're both awesome. They think the same about him, I think. It's really very cool. And we haven't kissed. We hold hands and give hugs, and it's enough. More than enough.

I actually spoke to Dad today... Mom told him about Drew and the Ren. Fest. He says we have to come home this weekend so he can meet him. I'm nervous about telling Drew, but not nervous about Dad meeting him. Or vice-versa. Is that strange, or what? I know Drew will do wonderfully, just like he did with Mom and Derek on Saturday. He did admit to being a little nervous, but that's to be expected. He was almost excited about the prospect of meeting Dad when we first made plans and thought he'd be able to make it, but it ended up not happening. So I don't know how this is going to work out. But it's really amazing and wonderful and beautiful because we pray for each other. And I care about him so much. He's a friend. A real, true, close friend. And I'm glad there's that before any relationship is even considered.

I met him at IHOP at the beginning of the semester. He was with a friend of a friend. Brandon lives downstairs and Dustin is Brandon's friend. Dustin plays with Ryan, Drew's brother, in a band at church. Drew came with Dustin for dinner and sat by me. For no reason, that's just where he sat down. We ended up talking and laughing through dinner and I really enjoyed myself, but didn't think anything of it. Then I saw him a week or two later walking down the hall. That next Sunday he came to our flag football game. And then he came back to my room and hung out with me for a few hours while we talked about blogging and computers and music and all sorts of stuff. Then we met for coffee on the 26th at Starbucks (two weeks after the aforementioned game), where I met his brother and a few of their friends. They sat over at a big table, a rather amoeba-ish group of church kids that grew as the night went on. We sat together at a small table apart from the group and talked for about 2 and a half hours. Then we drove around to Wal-Mart, which was closed (this was the week after the hurricane) and then to Walgreen's and walked around all of the aisles and talked about nothing in particular. We headed to his house to watch a movie, but his brother told him that his new boss had called and he had to work the next day. So he stayed and I went back home. I got online when I got home, and he was on! So we talked even MORE for about another hour, then made plans to go to Bible study the next night. So we did that, then hung out for a little while in the driveway at his house (because he had forgotten his key) just looking at the stars and talking. Then we saw each other again on Saturday after talking every night for the rest of the week. We got together in the afternoon and watched a few movies (Legends of the Fall (so sad, skip it), The Three Stooges (a cartoon I had picked up for $1), Notting Hill, and The Mask of Zorro), then we just sat there and talked some more for another hour or two before I took him home. He's working on getting a car, btw. We went to church and then dinner on Sunday (he paid) with his brother, Ryan. Then we took Ryan home and he came over later on his bike. We hung out again and he stayed to watch me play the flag football game. He had to be home so he could sleep before he had to work the next day. Then he got sick. And he was sick all day Tuesday and Wednesday. He was a lot better by Thursday, so we hung out again, and watched Ocean's Eleven. Friday was Rootbeer Fest and Saturday was the Renaissance Fest. And now you're all caught up!

But really, I'm very content and really happy with the way life is going. Carrie, is that enough? I actually think of y'all when I think about our relationship because it's so sweet and slow and amazingly perfect... *sigh* Love and hugs!

Busy busy busy

Hey y'all! How's life? Mine's great! Woohoo! Went to the Renaissance Festival yesterday! With Drew! Yay! But I'm not gonna go into that just yet. Mom paid for tickets and Derek came with Brandy, though they've been broken up for a few weeks now. I had so much fun! We went to see a bunch of shows and around to the sword shops and got some really good food and Italian ice. Yummy! We also got some roasted almonds. I bought necklaces, and swords, and wax hands (mine and Drew's together, fingers interlaced). They're green, and a little bulky, but still very cool. I got a green dragonfly necklace! Yeah! Yep, had TONS of fun!

Went to Rootbeer Fest Friday night, which was ok, a little cold, but not too bad. And I can drink IBC Rootbeer! Woohoo! I wasn't sure. But it's all good now!

Went to church this morning with Drew. We went to Fellowship, a rather large Baptist church in our area, on the outskirts of town. Then we went to the youth leader's house for hot dogs and smoothies to watch the Astros and Texans play. Astros are baseball, Texans are football, we had two screens set up for both games. Then we flipped to the Cowboys after the Texans finished. We left at 5:30 after getting there at about 12. The game STILL WASN'T OVER!!! It finally ended in the 18th inning with the 'Stros ahead 7 to 6. Then we had a flag football game and lost, but it's not a big deal. We have fun.

I have a lot of homework to do for tomorrow, so I'll have to be going now. Love and hugs to all!

Impending Post

Hey all! Newest update: COLLEGE IS AWESOME!!! I love all of my classes and all of the people I get to interact with. I'm still alive and well and will have more to post after the Renaissance Festival! I'm going with Mom and Derek and Brandy and Drew. Dad can't go, unfortunately. But we're going twice this year, so maybe there's still a chance. The weather is so great! It's cool and the wind's light and it's wonderful! Well, talk to y'all later! Love and hugs!