December 2006

Wow. It's been a long while, hasn't it? Things are still fabulous. I went through one of the most stressful weeks of my life trying to get some costumes finished, but they're all done now. Just some minor repairs before I hand them over for good. And I'll get paid soon, too. That'll buy the rest of my Christmas gifts. Something for Mom, Derek, and Dad, and something for Steve. I know what I'm getting for all of them.

Can you believe Christmas is two weeks away?! It snuck up on me. I have two finals, and then I'm checking out of my dorm so I can head home for the break after a few hours with Steve. He's fine, by the way. Still just as wonderful as ever. Still no fights (knock on wood), no problems, so we're doing really well. He hasn't told me he loves me yet, and I don't mind in the least. I think it's best to take this slow.

Other than being incredibly preoccupied by my wonderfully amazing boyfriend, I'm wrapping up classes, getting things packed, and getting ready to move downstairs for the RA position. Yay! For those of you who don't know, I did, in fact, get the RA position at Spivey, my current house for the Spring semester. If I can, I hope to stay here in this position until I graduate. That would be incredibly awesome!

Patti wants me to stay on at the costume shop, just to be on-call when they need me. I, of course, agreed. I love the shop, and I would've missed it terribly.

I've been writing Ryan regularly, and he's fine. We're talking about relationships and odd things in life, as usual, so I'm enjoying it. I think he knows more about me than some of my closest, dearest friends. Wait, he IS one of my closest, dearest friends! I need to talk to Alex, though. She doesn't know I have a boyfriend. And I have her Christmas gift to deliver.

Anyway, I need to grab some grub and finish all of this sewing, so I'm off. I love all of you very much! Have a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year!!!

Yay!!!

So, I suppose everyone would just looove to hear my news, right? Heh. I have a boyfriend! Yay!!! Finally, I know. His name is Steve, he's 22, he lives here in Huntsvegas, he's incredibly sweet, a gentleman, funny, kind, and an all-around wonderfully amazing guy. He respects me and likes me and pampers me (woohoo!), and he loves to make me smile. He posted a blog on his MySpace profile that said I am the "best person in the world." And he's equally great. He makes me happy. I feel safe and comfortable and just plain right when I'm with him. I don't have to worry about him taking advantage of me or pushing too far, and we have a mutual friend who just can't get over the fact that he liked me from the start. He says I'm amazing, and we have a million little things in common. Well, big things, too. Things like eggnog, strawberries, vanilla, pizza, movies, music, children, relationships... The list goes on. He's Steve, and I'm so glad we're together! We'll see how things progress, but I anticipate a happy and quite possibly lengthy relationship.

And for those of you who are wondering about Ryan, we still email, we still talk (no, he doesn't know about Steve), but we're friends. Until he indicates that he's interested in anything more than that, we're going to leave things as they are. I refuse to complicate issues that should really be so simple.

Oh, and Mom, thanks so very much for doing my laundry!!! I love you! And I love you, too, Daddy! I know you'll like Steve. *They're going to meet him on the night of the play. If you want to know more, email me, message me, or leave a comment and I'll get back to you. Lots of love! Mwah!

Such a Lov-ely Day

Well, hasn't it been FOREVER?! I know y'all have all missed me soo much, so I figured I'd just drop on in and let y'all know what's going on my little life. First off, I got cast in a play. It's called Playhouse Creatures, set in the Restoration period. I'm an old woman, one of five women in the play. This will be my very first performance on stage, so I'm really looking forward to it. I'll get to use a British accent! We go up on November the 16th.

I'm still the house mother, and I'm the leader of our Astronomy study group for my class. That's always interesting. I love working with some of the kids, but others really get on my nerves. We're meeting tonight. Did everyone remember to change their clocks back?

I've been emailing and IMing people left and right. Yay!

I chaperoned a high school dance last night. It made me feel really really old. :(

We finally finished the costumes for 12th Night! Yay! We were all really worried about that. That's a huge burden off my shoulders. Kris had to help me finish the dress I was working on, but we finished. I was very proud of myself, especially since I did a lot of the work (most, in fact) by myself.

I went to a classic car show yesterday, too. Devin, the guy who I went to support, got an award! Yay! He restored a 1969 Mustang. It's gorgeous! Bright red. He's going to give me a ride when it's registered and legal and all that. He won "The Car We'd Most Like to Steal" award. Hehe.

Other than that, I went to a Scholarship Luncheon on Friday and had a wonderful time speaking with Dr. Cording and Mr. DeCastro, as well as Mrs. Cording and the other scholarship recipients. Intelligent conversation of that caliber was stimulating and oh-so-interesting.

Well, ladies and gents, I'm off. I have some lines to memorize. Later, taters! Mwah!

I like...

Getting dressed up all pretty, singing in the shower, drinking coffee, IMing people, hearing from old friends, being sent back to bed :p, people telling me I look beautiful, having plans, being able to drive, have friends, making music, playing music, singing in my room, playing with my hair, doing my make-up, and not having plans. Contradictory, no? Allow me to explain. I have Gala this afternoon from 430 to 745, then a concert in which a housemate is playing and some others are singing. That should be over around 930. After that, though, I have no plans, unless you count chilling out and watching a movie counts as "plans". That's incredibly tentative. Today's been a very relaxed day. But things will pick up shortly. I have to do some minor adjustments on my hair, get dressed, and go get in the Hobbit and drive to the theatre. (The Hobbit is my car, for those of you who missed that particular tidbit.) Then to the concert for Mario, Tara, and Bethany, then back here for a change and a movie. Then sleep! I don't really have any homework, but I have some sewing projects, so that's what I'll do after church tomorrow. Oh, and I like diamonds. And nail polish. And high-heels. And rings. Actually, all jewelry. And shoes. And horses. And pie... Hehe. Ok, I'm off. Hair repair! Love y'all! Oh, and very awesome music!!!

Big Brother...

So, it's October!!! Yay!!! Happy belated birthday to my brother (not like he ever reads this). He's 21. Getting old. I'm very proud of him. He's my big bubba, for cryin' out loud. I love him ever so much. I don't tell him nearly enough. But he's so awesome. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's one of my closest friends, though we don't really talk all that much, and I trust him with everything. He's a gentleman, and friendly, great with people of all ages, a genuinely wonderful person. I miss him when I'm at school. That's one of the reasons I'm so glad for cell phones. I can call him for free and talk to him whenever he's not busy or I'm not busy, and we don't have to say much. We have that sibling connection. I just talked to him, actually. He's driving the limos today. Both of them. The H2 this afternoon and the Chrysler this evening. Which is so incredibly awesome. I know when you think "limo driver" you don't normally think "so cool", but with Derek, it most definitely is. And he's a very well-rounded person, so he likes a lot of the same stuff as me, despite the fact that I'm the "nerd" and like odd things. And he's very entertaining, with just enough silly boyishness to keep everybody laughing. I'm the ultimate defender of his honor and reputation, though the battles for him are few and far between. Anyway, I was feelin' the love this morning, so I thought I'd post. I'm still alive. And staying here this weekend. My uncle's wedding is next weekend, so I'll go home then. I'll have to buy gas, and I still haven't gotten my paycheck, so maybe I'll be better off next week. Well, I'm talking to Ryan and Mark, so I'm off! Love y'all!

So, it Tuesday. It's been a week and a few days since my last post, and things are wonderful!!! I feel much better, and am well over the cold I had. I talked to Mom today (well, listened to her talk, mostly, but I loved it just the same) about life and such. She's fine. She's getting better, too. She was sick last week and over the weekend. Derek called me, too. I think the only person I haven't talked to is Dad... I tried to call, but no answer. (Update: he called me back.)

Mark requested that I update, so I am. :p

For those of you who don't know, I have a friend in the Army named Ryan. He's the older brother of a dear friend. And he's already become a very dear friend himself. Anyway, he's stationed temporarily where he can access MSN, so we talk almost every day in IM. It's quite wonderful. And because we have so much in common, we never run out of things to say! Lol. Go figure. He makes me happy. From what I can tell, he likes talking to me, too. So I'm very happy right now. He'd better be in bed right now. It's still early in the morning where he's at. I'll be in bed before too long. Homework first, then bed.

Oh, I have a new Avon lady. It's my suitemate, actually. She's very sweet, and she feeds me, which is always good. Ya know, everyone feeds me. It's like they like for me to taste their creations or something. But I don't mind at all. ;)

I'm having to work later this week, but it's not as bad as we first thought, so that's good. I can actually still have a life.

Well, there's the latest. I'm happy, very busy, and planning a ton of little projects. We'll see how they go! I'm off! Love y'all!

Blast from the Past

Ok, so it's Sunday, and I know I should be in church right now, but I'm still not over this blasted cold/illness that's had me down for the past few days. So I'm being courteous and not spreading my germs to a hundred innocent people. Besides, I'm not feeling so hot, just felt I needed to report this.

I get a phone call around 10 this morning from an old friend from high school. His name's Joe, and my parents never really approved of him, but I think he's pretty cool. Anyway, he just came across my number, apparently, and decided to call me up. We talked, caught up on life and whatnot, and then said goodbye after about a 30 minute conversation. It's the weekend--my minutes are unlimited. Come to find out, he has a Cingular cell phone, which is what I have, so I told him to give me a call whenever since it's free and all. So I expect to hear from pretty often now. We'll see.

I went to the animal shelter yesterday for community service (I wasn't going to go because I'm sick, but I was feeling really good yesterday morning) and fell in love with all of the animals there! Some of them are SO ADORABLE!!! I would've gone broke for sure if we were allowed pets in the dorm. I found about 4 I would've loved to have. 2 dogs and 2 cats.

At one point in the day, I slipped and fell on the wet concrete. I was wearing flip-flops, and it was my own carelessness, really, so it's no big deal. But I think I hit the fence with my toe, because there's a bruise and a little hole on my big toe, left foot. I boiled it out with peroxide (no white bubbles showed up), cleaned it with alcohol, and put neosporin on it with a band aid. That stayed on until I went to bed, and now it doesn't hurt at all. The bruise hasn't gotten any bigger, and there's no swelling, inflammation, or redness (other than the bruise, which is a pinkish color, rather than purple or blue, which should show up in a couple of days), so I'm fine. It was just unexpected.

Alright, back to bed for this one. I'll talk to y'all soon! Oh, please send up a special prayer for Ryan. He was supposed to email me back yesterday and I still haven't heard from him. I'm a little worried, but no news is good news, I guess. Love y'all!

[Today's Date Here]

Sooo... I have a ton of stuff to talk about, but no inclination to type it all out. Suffice to say that everything is fine, I'm a little mixed up about some stuff going on in my head, and I'm extremely busy. I have a job that I love at the costume shop in the theatre, I have awesome friends, I love my life as it is right now (except for a few miniscule things), and everything not going my way is gravy.

I talked to Drew today. Nothing new, nothing particularly interesting, just wanted to make sure he was still ok.

I got an email from Ryan the other day. He's fine, but had a close call a few days back.

Those are pretty much the only notable things...

Oh, last Saturday I got to climb to the very top of a huge stack of hay! That was pretty awesome.

And the Saturday before that I fell off of a horse. That makes for a very interesting story, but it's much better in person, so I'll tell everyone when they come and see me. :p

We also went on a mission trip to downtown Houston. That was a blessing, and very full of little miracles. Good stuff.

Let's see... I got a refund from the university. That was pretty cool. We had a study group today for Astronomy, and I felt like a teacher, but not on any sort of upper level. They had a hard time grasping concepts. Thankfully, I reinforced my own knowledge by teaching them. I only wish I had a source to back me up. I get unsure of myself occasionally and it's hard to teach with confidence when I don't know that I'm absolutely right.

My hands smell like spaghetti.

That is all.

Channel 13

Hello all! As per my father's request, I am posting! Woo!

Here's the latest from PAM Channel 13 College News. I've officially started class, and I'm going to really love all of them. My math class is going to be incredibly slow, but fun anyway, my astronomy class is interesting if for no other reason than the planets are being reclassified, my acting class promises to be rather challenging, production will be entertaining, and computer science will be a breeze. I start labs on Monday. That'll be cool because the TA is a guy who lives in the dorm. Work is pretty fun, and it's going to be very busy. We have quite a few shows going up this semester. I might post a schedule at a later date.

The weekend is finally here! This first week was exhausting. But I'm having a blast. I'm not worried about being an RA so much anymore because Spivey promises to be very fun. "My guys" keep me entertained, safe, happy, and comfortable. The group is an amoeba, and I'm not the only girl most of the time. It's never really a constant, either. It's a lot of fun.

I have an especially close friend named Devin who lives down the hall. He has a girlfriend, so it's nothing like that, but we talk about EVERYTHING. He's a great friend, and we have about a zillion things to keep us conversationally occupied. He also likes to pick me up and carry me. He's even sweet enough to let me steal his super-comfy slippers when my feet are cold! Hehe. He's quickly becoming close. He's supportive and thinks my odd quirks are funny, so we keep each other entertained. Hayleigh, his girlfriend, knows about me, though I don't know how much he actually says about me. She's very cute and, as far as I can tell, a wonderfully sweet person. He's happy with her, and thinks he'll marry her. Too bad there aren't two Devins in my world.

Other than that, Ryan's been terribly busy, so I haven't been hearing from him as much. He's supposed to get a few days off soon, so he'll be able to write and talk to me and stuff. Can't wait! I miss our conversations.

I saw "Grand Canyon" tonight at the theatre. It was written by one of our students here, and it's actually really good. I was impressed.

Today was a bad day. I didn't get much sleep last night for various reasons, one of which being I had unfinished homework, I had to work up at 7 to get ready to get boxes from Wal-Mart for the costume shop to finish packing up things, I had class from 9-12, then took a very short nap, had some lunch, and went to work, went to a meeting at 5:15 (right after work), went to take care of some things with Luker, then went to the play. I got home and saw that my blog window was still open and decided to finish this post...which I've been working on for about 2 days now.

Things are better, though. I'm hanging out with DJ tomorrow, and then there's an honors party Sunday night, so that should be fun. I'm seriously looking forward to a good night's sleep. I haven't had one of those in a very loooong time...

G'night.

Oh, yeah, there was a really cute guy sitting on a bench on campus today in a cowboy hat... Pretty blue eyes, tall, slim, adorable. I am such a lost cause.

Choice

Images behind my eyes
Scenes I can't erase
Life past and present
Hope for the future
Chaos or bliss
The choice is mine
No turning back
I can't forget the sight
That burning memory

Peace meets war
On a field too large
The battle begins
There is no way out
We must choose
What all have faced
Loyalty or love
Both is not an option
Or is it?

I would never take him
He is yours first
A brother, but more
I fall forever
You only adjust
I know I can never
Choose

Jealousy
Jealously
We pull
We fight
Battle with those
Dark caves of
Forbidden dreams
Lost in the night

Up

Well, I was right! Today is indeed better! I got an email this morning from my "missing" buddy. As it turns out, we were suffering some technical difficulties. Hopefully they're all resolved now. Woohoo! In other news, I have a splinter. And some chores left to do. Including cleaning my room... Never good. If I'm not back soon, somebody come dig me out.

One of those days

Do you know what’s aggravating? My parents. I have to be so careful not to argue with Dad because Mom freaks out, and I have to be careful not to argue with Mom because it makes Dad irritable. It’s so frustrating! I can’t express any opinion, even a valid one, in a discussion, because they don’t see me as a competent adult. To them, I’m a child. Irresponsible, naïve, ignorant, and incapable of logical thought. They have no idea what goes on in my head. Mom thinks she knows everything I’m thinking because apparently my face always tells her I hate her or some similar hogwash, and Dad doesn’t know how to compromise or have a discussion if I’m against his opinion. He turns it into this sit-there-and-yell-at-Pam crap that I get so tired of. And yes, I know they read this. And I’ll probably get in trouble, but this has been building up for a while, and I’m sure it will blow over. Everything else does. I only have 15 days left here. I’m 19 years old. They could let me grow up some. That’s why I’ll be so glad to go back to school. I’ll be away from their oppressive stunting. Don’t get me wrong, they’re wonderful parents and did a fantastic job raising us, but they can’t let go. Grandpa and I had that discussion the other day. He says they don’t know how yet. He had to learn as a parent and finds it’s much easier as a grandparent. He’s great at listening and being supportive, and, though he’s not Mema, he’s wonderful.

I miss her. So much. I need her to talk to, to tell me everything will work out and it’s ok to cry. To help me grow up and help my parents let me grow up. I’m finally crying for her. Oh, how I miss her. Who do I turn to now? Someone who won’t judge, who loves me unconditionally, with a woman’s point of view and that wisdom that comes with experience. Someone to just talk to. Where can somebody find a friend like that?

Ryan’s kind of like that—an older, wiser friend who listens and talks, but Ryan hasn’t written in about a week. I have no idea why. He writes to his sister, and he may just be demonstrating to her that she is more important to him than I am, which is fine, especially since I’ve been worried about her being jealous or not being able to accept our friendship. I just miss our conversations. I miss him. I can’t talk to him about some things, obviously, but I’ve found a kindred spirit in him. Someone I don’t have to teach and lead and be an example for. I don’t think I have very many friends like that. Not that I’m so close to, anyway.

The good news for the day is that I fit in my “skinny” jeans.

Today is one of those days. Nothing is quite as sunny as you woke up hoping it would be. Maybe tomorrow will be better. It can only go up from here.

Yeah, I know, it's been a while.

Hey guys! I know it's been a while, as usual, but here we are, once again. I love my job! It's lots of fun and, while it can be frustrating, I make awesome tips.

I have an email buddy in the Army. He's stationed in Afghanistan. We exchange messages about once a day and talk about everything from physics to the weather. He's a lot of fun. He's a friend's older brother. Very cool, 25, named Ryan. Anyway, that keeps me busy nowadays.

It's hot in Texas, y'all. And humid. Pity us who work outside.

I'm really all empty on news, so I'll close by saying I hope y'all are having great summers and I'll talk to ya soon!

Very fluffy cats.

Job!!!

I got a job!!! At Sonic! The manager, named Pam, called me this morning and asked if I still was interested, so I said yes and she said I start today at 3! Woohoo! Wish me luck!

It's Independence Day!

Well, happy Independence Day! It always strikes me as sad when this day rolls around and we still have men and women fighting for that same freedom we declared so many years ago. Seems like an injustice of sorts. I guess that's the way life is. Always striving to hold on to what we've got and somehow get more, too. Special prayers are going up for all of our folks overseas, and I sure hope they feel 'em. Hope everybody gets the chance to pop a few fireworks, eat something off the grill, get nice and messy from watermelon seed-spittin' contests, and see family and friends all smiles today. Love and hugs!

M&D

Hey! Special congrats go out to Mom and Dad on this their 22nd anniversary! Whoa! 22 years! Hope y'all have fun going out tonight! They have plans to go eat dinner this evening, so that should be good for them. As for me, I have plans to do... well, I'm scraping the house so I can paint it, and just kind of hanging out at the house. I'm applying for a job at Sonic soon, so hopefully that'll work out. Other than that, I've got thoughts like crazy, but there's no way I'm ready to tell Y'ALL about them :p so chill out. Hope everybody had a great week!

Wal-Mart

Ok, so we went to Wal-Mart to get toilet paper and some ice cream this evening, and, as we were walking down the aisle, a skinny black man stopped me and asked my name. I told him, "Pam" and kept walking. No biggie. I figured he was kinda off. He then proceeded to follow me down the aisle and told me he had never seen a white girl built quite like me. I understood what he meant, as that's not the first time someone has made a comment on my "ghetto booty," but it was rather unexpected. We laughed and kept walking while his coworker told him to behave himself and get back to his register. This was at the back of the store. As we were checking out, back at the front, he not only noticed me again, but pointed me out to several customers! I was almost embarrassed, but one of the guys standing there while he made whatever comments gave me a look that said he understood and not to worry about it. So, that's my oh-so-interesting Wal-Mart story. Great to be back n Huntsville, huh? :p

In Response

Well, first off, thanks for your prayers. I should've updated this last week, but things have been hectic. Mema passed away Sunday, June 4th at 7:20 PM. She's now in a much better place, and, while we'll miss her, we're happy for her at the same time. We're all doing alright. The funeral was very... interesting. There were a few glitches in the music, but we all know Mema would've been cracking up, so we didn't really mind. We had a ton of family down, and some even stayed for a few days to keep Grandpa company, so that was a blessing. I finally got a chance to get to know my cousins. And an aunt. So that was great. Unfortunate circumstances, but I'll take what I can get. I'm going to miss her very much, especially since she knew all of my secrets and gave awesome advice, but she won the race and beat us all to heaven, so I'll see her again.

We had Vacation Bible School last week, so I was very busy and rather tired. I spent every evening with my family and then got up early to teach Pre-K from 8:45-12:30. It was tons of fun, but I'm glad it's all over. I'm tired, and I really want a vacation. A real one, with a change of scenery and friends and the open road and all that. Unfortunately I don't see that happening. Ever. This promises to be a very long and boring summer. Oh well. I'll make do somehow.

Thanks for your prayers, and I hope you're all doing well! Chad, I think the movie has enough action to keep your interest, so give it a shot. Or just let Carrie get her girls together and have a movie night. Be sure to supply lots of Kleenex!

Prayers

Hey guys. Once again I have a very serious prayer request. My Mema. She's not doing well. We have family down from Illinois, and our whole little group here. Her brother, her sister, her husband, all three of her children, and 4 of her 7 grandchildren. She took a turn the other day we thought might be her last. As of right now, she's looking a little better than she has since yesterday morning, but it's an hour by hour thing. We're all just waiting. That's all we can do. But the point of this is to request prayer. We'd love for her to get better and stick around for a while, but we don't want her to suffer. It's a hard thing to realize, and it's a hard thing to watch. My grandmother. Dad's mom. Your thoughts and prayers would be appreciated. Thanks y'all. Love and hugs.

Tristan + Isolde Quotes

My face in thine eyes,
Thine in mine appears.
And true plain hearts
Do in the faces rest.
Where can we find
Two better hemispheres,
Without sharp north,
Without declining west.
Whatever dies was not mixed equally.
If our two loves be one,
And thou and I love so alike
That none can slacken,
None can die.
Excerpt from "The Good Morrow" by John Donne
~ Isolde, reading to Tristan

I don’t know if life is greater than death, but love was more than either.~Tristan’s dying words